IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the percentage of people in a city in the UK using the internet for different activities

The chart below shows the percentage of people in a city in the UK using the internet for different activities
The bar charts show the proportion of residents in one city of
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 engaging
internet
Use synonyms
 for for seven
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of activities in 2007 and 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
's usage
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 shopping, seeking jobs and TV increased,
while
Linking Words
utilizing
Change the spelling
utilising
show examples
 banking,music
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 learning decreased. Notably, online games
reamained
Correct your spelling
remained
 stable in both years.
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 used
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 shopping in both years, at approximately 45 % and 50% respectively.
Also
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who
utilized
Change the spelling
utilised
show examples
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 as a source of finding
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
 experienced notable growth
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 was
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 increasing from about 20% in 2007 to 30% in
2009
Punctuation problem
2009,
show examples
 respectively. TV showed similar progress
climbing
Punctuation problem
, climbing
show examples
 from around 16% to 20%.
People
Use synonyms
 used online banking services the most after shopping,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 service experienced a drop from 40% in 2007 to roughly 35% in
2009
Punctuation problem
2009,
show examples
 respectively. Usage
online
Change preposition
of online
show examples
 music streaming programmes and learning platforms
also
Linking Words
 decreased to approximately 30% and 15% respectively. Games
Linking Words
on
Punctuation problem
, on
show examples
 the other
hand
Punctuation problem
hand,
show examples
ramined
Correct your spelling
remained
 stable in both years, at 20%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words internet, people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage
  • share
  • internet
  • city
  • UK
  • activity
  • use
  • most
  • least
  • popular
  • common
  • different
  • higher
  • lower
  • top
  • bottom
  • increase
  • decrease
  • rise
  • fall
  • grow
  • drop
  • stay the same
  • stable
  • change
  • trend
  • pattern
  • data
  • chart
  • information search
  • emails
  • social media
  • online shopping
  • watching videos
  • streaming
  • online banking
  • online games
  • learning online
  • compare
  • difference
  • in contrast
  • for example
  • however
  • although
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