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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bar chart compares the amount of money (in millions of euros) that people in four different age groups from Paris, France, spent on going to the cinema, restaurants and music concerts in 2019.

The bar chart compares the amount of money (in millions of euros) that people in four different age groups from Paris, France, spent on going to the cinema, restaurants and music concerts in 2019.
The bar chart illustrates
figures
Correct article usage
the figures
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 that individuals in four different
age
Use synonyms
 categories
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
spent
Use synonyms
money
Check wording
apply
show examples
in 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 all
age
Use synonyms
 groups mostly spent their
money
Use synonyms
 in Restaurants
particularly
Punctuation problem
, particularly
show examples
 those
40
Correct word order
aged 40
show examples
-55 aged with roughly 21%.
While
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the least popular category was
music
Use synonyms
concerts
Use synonyms
. In
18
Correct article usage
the 18
show examples
-25
age
Use synonyms
 spending on
music
Use synonyms
concerts
Use synonyms
 was higher than
Use synonyms
cinema
Change preposition
on cinema
show examples
 and restaurants, despite
Use synonyms
restaurant
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
show examples
 and
music
Use synonyms
concerts
Use synonyms
 having
slight
Correct article usage
a slight
show examples
disprecanty
Correct your spelling
discrepancy
.Meanwhile, at the 26-39
age
Use synonyms
restaurant
Use synonyms
 was dominated among
cinema
Use synonyms
 and
music
Use synonyms
concerts
Use synonyms
 . At 40-45
ages
Check wording
apply
show examples
, spending
money
Use synonyms
 on 2
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
group
Punctuation problem
group,
show examples
that is
Linking Words
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cinema
Use synonyms
 and
music
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
concerts
Punctuation problem
concerts,
show examples
decline
Correct subject-verb agreement
declines
show examples
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
Use synonyms
restaurant
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
show examples
increased
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
 to approximately 21%.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
another
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
hand
Correct word choice
other hand
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,
56
Correct article usage
the 56
show examples
-86
age
Use synonyms
had
Check wording
group had
show examples
 a similar
patterns
Fix the agreement mistake
pattern
show examples
like
Change preposition
to
show examples
25
Correct article usage
the 25
show examples
-39,
althought
Correct your spelling
although
Use synonyms
cinema
Correct article usage
the cinema
show examples
 and
music
Use synonyms
concerts
Use synonyms
 group
lower
Verb problem
had lower
show examples
 spending than
26
Correct article usage
the 26
show examples
-39
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
.
Check wording
group.
show examples
 The conclusion
Verb problem
is the
show examples
the that
Correct word order
that the
show examples
restaurant
Use synonyms
 category has
been
Verb problem
apply
show examples
increased among 3
age
Use synonyms
 groups,
whlist
Correct your spelling
while
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 category
56
Punctuation problem
, 56
show examples
-86 experienced
Correct article usage
a fell
show examples
fell
Replace the word
fall
show examples
.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words money, age, music, concerts, cinema, restaurant with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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