IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The bar chart compares the amount of money (in millions of euros) that people in four different age groups from Paris, France, spent on going to the cinema, restaurants and music concerts in 2019.

The bar chart compares the amount of money (in millions of euros) that people in four different age groups from Paris, France, spent on going to the cinema, restaurants and music concerts in 2019.
The bar chart illustrates how
people
Use synonyms
 in Paris spent their
money
Use synonyms
 on three activities: cinema,
restaurants
Use synonyms
 and music concerts, across different
age
Use synonyms
 groups.
Overall
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 in all
age
Use synonyms
 groups preferred to spend their
money
Use synonyms
 on
restaurants
Use synonyms
, except those aged 18 to 25. The group that spent the most
money
Use synonyms
 on all three categories was the 26–35
age
Use synonyms
 group. Spending on
restaurants
Use synonyms
 was the highest among
people
Use synonyms
 aged 40 to 45, who spent approximately 22 million euros. Elderly
people
Use synonyms
 did not spend much
money
Use synonyms
 on music concerts,
while
Linking Words
 they spent most of their
money
Use synonyms
 on
restaurants
Use synonyms
. Young
people
Use synonyms
 did not spend as much
money
Use synonyms
 as older
people
Use synonyms
, and their
overall
Linking Words
 spending was lower compared to other
age
Use synonyms
 groups.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, money, restaurants, age with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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