IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Children do not respect their parents as much as they did in the past. This behaviour is now having a negative impact on society.’ Discuss. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The
society
Use synonyms
 has changed dramatically in recent years,
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 includes the respect of
children
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their
parents
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 disrespect has
lead
Replace the word
led
show examples
 to many negative impacts on the whole
society
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
 alteration in behaviour. To commence with the structure of the family, which is completely different nowadays in
compartion
Correct your spelling
comparison
 with the past.
Familes
Correct your spelling
Families
 used to live under one roof, where the grandfather is the leader of the family. So that,
children
Use synonyms
 used to have a live
exaple
Correct your spelling
example
 of
respection
Correct your spelling
respect
 and
obaying
Correct your spelling
obeying
. Now
raeely
Correct your spelling
really
 you can see a large house collecting the whole members of the family.
Also
Linking Words
, the impact of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social media on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
 shouldn't be ignored. They changed the way of communication with the family members. In the past , it was something
crotial
Correct your spelling
crucial
 to gather with your family in person. Many people
depends
Correct subject-verb agreement
depend
show examples
 only on
smart phones
Use the right word
smartphones
show examples
 to communicate with their
parents
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 change in behaviour can
translated
Verb problem
be translated
show examples
 to disrespect in many cultures.
In addition
Linking Words
, the new methods of teaching at schools
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 are based mainly on critical
thinking
Punctuation problem
thinking,
show examples
 have
encoraged
Correct your spelling
encouraged
children
Use synonyms
 to discuss any idea with their
parents
Use synonyms
, without any limitation. In the
past
Add a comma
past,
show examples
 there was always a limit when discussing any topic with
parents
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 shift can be translated to disrespect in my culture.
For instance
Linking Words
, many topics
where
Use the right word
were
show examples
 not allowed to be discussed with our
parents
Use synonyms
, like sexual topics. In conclusion, the shift in lifestyle, the
increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
 use of social media and the new educational system
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 created a
society
Use synonyms
 in which
children
Use synonyms
 respect their
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
 less than before.

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structure
Plan your essay before you write. Make a short plan with 3 ideas and a simple plan of intro, body, and ending.
structure
Start with a short intro that tells what you will say. End with a clear finish.
language
Use one idea per paragraph. Keep words simple and check spell, grammar.
coherence
Add clear links between ideas. Use words like 'also', 'but', 'for example', 'in addition'.
content
Give more real example or evidence from life or common facts to back your point.
content
Clear topic about change in life and its effect.
structure
Some idea in each paragraph makes a point.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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