IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. *Why might this be the case? *What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

In
this
Linking Words
 constantly evolving era, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people prefer to start their own
business
Use synonyms
,
instead
Linking Words
 of doing a job
Linking Words
due
Punctuation problem
, due
show examples
 to various reasons. The related ideas
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 be
captivated
Verb problem
discussed
show examples
 in the forthcoming paragraphs
along with
Linking Words
 the conclusion. In most of the nations where many people reside below the poverty line, they do not live from hand to mouth;
as a result
Linking Words
, it becomes tedious for them to feed their family with the low wages that they receive on a monthly basis. To cite an example, in India, which is a densely populated country, the average income of the citizens is lower than
the
Correct article usage
that
show examples
many
Change preposition
of many
show examples
 foreign
nations
Punctuation problem
nations,
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 makes it difficult for them to meet their family needs,
whereas
Linking Words
 commencing their own enterprise helps them to quench
this
Linking Words
 thirst.
Thus
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 is the main cause that provokes the populace to
setup
Use the right word
set up
show examples
 their own startup. As a coin has two sides, in spite of having numerous merits of being self-employed, there are tremendous demerits
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
 practice. The foremost one is that a person is buried under
immense
Correct article usage
an immense
show examples
 amount of loans, which makes it difficult for them to pay back when desired outcomes are not received from the
business
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, when a person starts his own
business
Use synonyms
, he has to incur
loan
Correct article usage
a loan
show examples
 or debt as he has to buy to place or building, hire employees, and much more.
Moreover
Linking Words
, he has to work 24 hours to gain the desired result from the
business
Use synonyms
;
consequently
Linking Words
, he
prones
Correct your spelling
suffers
to
Change preposition
from
show examples
 various mental ailments like depression, stress, and more. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 it is a good idea
to begin
Linking Words
 doing
own
Correct pronoun usage
your own
show examples
business
Use synonyms
, the severe consequences related to
this
Linking Words
 practice cannot be neglected.
Hence
Linking Words
, people should be happy with what they already have
instead
Linking Words
 of rushing out to win to race of success or to live a luxurious life.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence
State a clear view in the introduction and keep a consistent idea in each paragraph with a clear topic sentence.
grammar
Check grammar and word form. Avoid mistakes like 'prones' and awkward phrases. Use simple, correct sentences.
content
Give more details or examples to back up points about why people choose self-employment and its drawbacks.
vocabulary
Keep to simple, everyday words and short sentences to meet the task for plain language.
structure
The essay shows a real topic about self-employment and has a conclusion.
content
The idea of pros and cons is present.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Self-employment
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Freelancing
  • Work-life balance
  • Business strategy
  • Risk management
  • Financial instability
  • Benefits package
  • Job security
  • Innovation
  • Market needs
  • Isolation
  • Corporate volatility
  • Pursuit of passion
  • Administrative tasks
What to do next:
Look at other essays: