IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 0.5

Government should focus their spending on public service rather than on arts such as music and painting. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, a significant debate has emerged regarding whether the government should invest in public services or allocate funds
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
arts
Correct article usage
the arts
show examples
. Proponents of the first view argue that spending on public services
such
Linking Words
 as healthcare, education and infrastructure plays a crucial role in improving quality of life, thereby enhancing living standards.
While
Linking Words
 I acknowledge these benefits, I only partly agree with
this
Linking Words
 viewpoint, as I firmly believe that supporting artistic fields like music and painting is equally vital for preserving cultural heritage and promoting mental well-being.

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task response
This essay talks about both sides but does not have full, strong ideas. Add more main views and a simple plan to show what you will talk about.
task response
State your view at the start and again at the end. Give a short plan of the points you will cover.
coherence cohesion
Put each idea in its own paragraph. Use easy join words like also, but, so, however to link ideas.
coherence cohesion
Make a clear end sentence that ends the view.
structure
Add a short final paragraph to rest the view.
language
Use plain words. Check the order of words in long lines.
task response
Give a real small example to back a point, like a fact about health or art money in a city.
stance
The view is clear and not just one side.
style
The writing is formal and easy to read.
coherence
Some link words are used to join ideas.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • government
  • money
  • use money
  • public service
  • health
  • education
  • roads
  • police
  • fire service
  • arts
  • music
  • paint
  • culture
  • jobs
  • people
  • need
  • cost
  • budget
  • priority
  • balance
  • future
  • today
  • evidence
  • data
  • example
  • local
  • community
  • plan
  • benefit
  • risk
  • quality
  • life
What to do next:
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