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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below compare the age structure of the populations of France and India in 1984.

The charts below compare the age structure of the populations of France and India in 1984.
The bar charts represent
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 of two
sertain
Correct your spelling
certain
 countries distributed by gender and
age
Use synonyms
 in 1984.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is notable that both regions
showing
Wrong verb form
show
show examples
 gender quality of
people
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 all ages, but in
India
Use synonyms
there
Punctuation problem
, there
show examples
more
Correct word choice
is a higher
show examples
 percentage of young
people
Use synonyms
 rather than in
France
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
, there
are
Verb problem
is are
show examples
more
Correct word choice
larger
show examples
 share of
eldery
Correct your spelling
elderly
people
Use synonyms
 in
France
Use synonyms
.
People
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in
Change preposition
aged
show examples
age
Use synonyms
 under 5 have
more
Correct word choice
a greater
show examples
 share in
India
Use synonyms
, about 7%
;
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
while
Linking Words
 the figures for
France
Use synonyms
 are almost 4%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in
Use synonyms
France
Add a comma
France,
show examples
 most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
age
Replace the word
aged
show examples
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
0 to 35
are having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
in
Use the right word
an
show examples
 average
approximately
Change preposition
of approximately
show examples
 4%
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
on the other
Linking Words
hand
Punctuation problem
hand,
show examples
India
Use synonyms
showing
Wrong verb form
shows
show examples
gradual
Correct article usage
a gradual
show examples
 distribution
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
age
Use synonyms
, where
above
Check wording
people above
show examples
Use synonyms
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
 of 20
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
 having
more
Correct word choice
larger
show examples
 share than
people
Use synonyms
 above 20.
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
France
Use synonyms
are having
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 in the
age
Use synonyms
 between 35 and 70, nearly 3%
;
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
while
Linking Words
India
Use synonyms
illustrate
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrates
show examples
Correct article usage
a deacreasing
show examples
deacreasing
Correct your spelling
decreasing
 distribution in the
percentange
Correct your spelling
percentage
 regarding
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
age
Use synonyms
, older
people
Use synonyms
are having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 a mere 1% of the scale.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
in
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
France
Use synonyms
more
Punctuation problem
, more
show examples
 female
people
Use synonyms
above
Verb problem
are above
show examples
 the
age
Use synonyms
 of 70, about 2%,
while
Linking Words
 men
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 less than 1%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, people, india, france with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • charts
  • age structure
  • populations
  • France
  • India
  • 1984
  • overall
  • different
  • evenly distributed
  • proportion
  • young people
  • elderly individuals
  • largest age group
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