IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many aspects of the way people dress today are influenced by global fashion trends. How has global fashion become such a strong influence on people’s lives? Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Global
fashion
Use synonyms
 trends
aspects
Use the right word
affect
show examples
 many
Use synonyms
people
Check wording
people's
show examples
 dress today. How
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 global
fashion
Use synonyms
 trends become
such
Linking Words
strong
Correct article usage
a strong
show examples
 influence on
people
Use synonyms
's lives
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 From my perspective, it's good that
people
Use synonyms
's
clothes
Use synonyms
 have become more fashionable and trendy, positive way is that all
people
Use synonyms
 wears different
fashion
Use synonyms
clothes
Use synonyms
 and it's interesting to others what they will be wearing today and there job which called " Visual Merchandising " it helps to
people
Use synonyms
 wear interesting clothing and more matching with all parts of
clothes
Use synonyms
 which attracts global attention and
this
Linking Words
 helps to find more jobs for the
people
Use synonyms
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 there is some negative development
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
 in every situation, all
people
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
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 that
brand
Use synonyms
 is
tha
Correct your spelling
the
fashion
Use synonyms
it's
Punctuation problem
, it's
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 not because everyone can buy
Use synonyms
brand
Correct article usage
a brand
show examples
 but not be fashionable and at the same
Check wording
time
show examples
event
Punctuation problem
event,
show examples
 everyone can look like same way of dressing. From my own experience and situation my friend bought
clothes
Use synonyms
 from some famous
brand
Use synonyms
 and wear to the
fashion
Use synonyms
 week which was about
fashion
Use synonyms
 couture and there was one guye which wears the same
clothes
Use synonyms
 with him and there was
such
Linking Words
 not understanding and they started talking after fighting because they wearing same
clothes
Use synonyms
 which bought at the same famous
brand
Use synonyms
 and they removed from the
fashion
Use synonyms
 week which he waited for to wear
this
Linking Words
clothes
Use synonyms
 which cost a lot but not trendy and fashionable
To conclude
Linking Words
, it's good to wear fashionable and trendy
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 you need to be careful about
that
Correct pronoun usage
what
show examples
 you know about
fashion
Use synonyms
not
Punctuation problem
, not
show examples
 about
famos
Correct your spelling
famous
Use synonyms
brand
Fix the agreement mistake
brands
show examples
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
; however
show examples
however
Punctuation problem
however,
show examples
 it's not fashionable and trendy
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 can be interesting to
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples

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structure
Plan your essay with a clear layout: short intro, two body parts, and a short end. This helps the reader see your view.
task response
State a clear view in the intro and keep it in mind in all body parts. Do not change your mind in the middle.
planning
Use 1 main idea in each paragraph and give one or two simple reasons or examples to support it.
cohesion
Use linking words to move from point to point: first, also, but, then, in addition, finally.
grammar
Check grammar and spelling. Use simple sentences with correct tense and subject-verb.
idea
The writer tries to discuss both good and bad sides.
structure
There is some use of examples from life.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • influence
  • global
  • trend
  • fashion
  • style
  • fashionable
  • influencer
  • celebrity
  • brand
  • access
  • marketing
  • popular
  • worldwide
  • connect
  • showcase
  • event
  • clothing
  • culture
  • rise
  • buy
What to do next:
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