IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some believe that the best way to stay fit is to join a gym or health club while others think doing everyday activities such as walking and climbing stairs is enough. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

A
lot
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 think that
keep
Wrong verb form
keeping
show examples
 fit should do more
exersices
Correct your spelling
exercises
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
join
Wrong verb form
joining
show examples
 a
gym
Use synonyms
 or
go
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
 to
health
Correct article usage
a health
show examples
 club.
Also
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 may think that only walking and climbing stairs is enough.
Then
Linking Words
, they may get enough energy to keep fit. I think these are
fanstic
Correct your spelling
fantastic
example
Fix the agreement mistake
examples
show examples
 for how
peope
Correct your spelling
people
 keep fit. So, in
this
Linking Words
 process, I will give my own opinion about
this
Linking Words
 topic.
First,
Linking Words
about join
Wrong verb form
joining
show examples
 a
gym
Use synonyms
 can
stay
Verb problem
help stay
show examples
 fit. Many
people
Use synonyms
 will choose
this
Linking Words
 way to
keeep
Correct your spelling
keep
 fit. Nowadays,
Hong
Use synonyms
Kong
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 feel
stress
Replace the word
stressed
show examples
normolly
Correct your spelling
normally
. The
reason
Use synonyms
 is that they have many things to do.
For example
Linking Words
, in business,
boss
Fix the agreement mistake
bosses
show examples
 give a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
mission
Fix the agreement mistake
missions
show examples
 to do: in study,
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 have
mant
Correct your spelling
many
dictation
Fix the agreement mistake
dictations
show examples
 or
examanation
Correct your spelling
examinations
. These
Use synonyms
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
are
Verb problem
can
show examples
 easily get stressful for
people
Use synonyms
. So,
people
Use synonyms
 will eat junk food or high oil, sugar food to
discrease
Correct your spelling
decrease
 stress. In
this
Linking Words
 moment, they will go to
Use synonyms
gym
Correct article usage
the gym
show examples
 to keep fit.
Next,
Linking Words
about walking and climbing stairs in everyday
.
Check wording
life.
show examples
 Many
people
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 will choose these ways to
keeep
Correct your spelling
keep
 fit. Nowadays, apart from the
Hong
Use synonyms
Kong
Use synonyms
peope
Correct your spelling
people
 do not have enough time to join a
gym
Use synonyms
. The
reasion
Correct your spelling
reason
 is that
Hong
Use synonyms
Kong
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 doing a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 when they leave school or department
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
join
Wrong verb form
joining
show examples
 school activities or
go
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
 back home to
cooking
Replace the word
cook
show examples
.
Then
Linking Words
, they may choose walking and climbing stairs to keep fit. The
reason
Use synonyms
 is that these ways
are using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 short time. It is convenient with them. In my
opion
Correct your spelling
opinion
 for
this
Linking Words
 topic, I will choose walking or running for
everyday
Check wording
day
show examples
. The
reason
Use synonyms
 is that joining
Use synonyms
gym
Correct article usage
a gym
show examples
 may use a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
momey
Correct your spelling
money
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as booking. For my
csae
Correct your spelling
case
 can't handle it.
Also
Linking Words
, if I join a
gym
Use synonyms
, I must book the date.
However
Linking Words
, the date
not
Verb problem
is not
show examples
 suitable for me to choose.
Moreover
Linking Words
, walking or running is suitable for me. The
reason
Use synonyms
 is that I can choose
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
timing suitable
Correct word order
suitable timing
show examples
. It should me more
easily
Replace the word
easier
show examples
 for me or
Hong
Use synonyms
Kong
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 to
jion
Correct your spelling
join
. In the end,
people
Use synonyms
stay
Correct pronoun usage
who stay
show examples
 fit can have a
lof
Use the right word
lot
show examples
 of choices
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 choose
.
Change preposition
from.
show examples
People
Use synonyms
 must choose the best way for
youself
Correct your spelling
themselves
.
Then
Linking Words
, you may do it for
long
Correct article usage
the long
show examples
 term.
Keep
Wrong verb form
Keeping
show examples
 fit can
success
Replace the word
be successful
show examples
.

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language
Fix easy word error and spelling to the right form. Some words like 'exersices', 'keeep', 'discrease' are not correct.
structure
Make a plan before you write. Put the idea in order: intro, 2-3 ideas, and a clear end.
coherence
Use linking words to show how ideas go together, like first, also, but, however, and then.
task response
Give one clear opinion and keep it to the end. Do not switch ideas.
content
The topic is seen and there is effort to compare gym use with daily life.
structure
There is a basic form of essay with an opening, body, and ending.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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