IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You recently bought some train tickets for a journey a week in advance. When you went to the station to catch the train, you were told you could not use the tickets and the staff were very unhelpful to you. Write a letter to the train company. In your letter • describe the problem you had with the tickets • say why you were unhappy with the sta • suggest what action the train company should take

DearSir
Correct your spelling
Dear Sir
, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to inform you about my bad experience with your
train
Use synonyms
 company. Please allow me to elaborate. I had booked two
ticket
Fix the agreement mistake
tickets
show examples
, one for me and my wife, from
you
Correct pronoun usage
your
show examples
 website that was
prior to a week
Correct word order
a week prior to
show examples
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the journey. Unfortunately,the ticket I booked was wrong, since the
train
Use synonyms
 and destination got misplaced.
Due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, I was not allowed by the staff member to travel
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
train
Use synonyms
. I asked politely to the staff member
if
Rephrase
politely if
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 they
can
Wrong verb form
could
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 re-book my seat with
correct
Correct article usage
the correct
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train
Use synonyms
 number,
the
Correct word choice
but the
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 response,
however
Linking Words
, I got was pathetic.
First,
Linking Words
empolyees
Correct your spelling
employees
 were very rude and
lack
Replace the word
lacked
show examples
code
Correct article usage
a code
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 of conduct.
Second,
Linking Words
they let me
waitied
Correct your spelling
wait
 for 2 hours in the guest room without
give
Wrong verb form
giving
show examples
 me proper
direction
Fix the agreement mistake
directions
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 about my refund for the cancellation of the ticket.
Thus
Linking Words
, I would assert
this
Linking Words
 problem should be
address
Replace the word
addressed
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 by
Use synonyms
train
Correct article usage
the train
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 company
to
Change preposition
at
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 the earliest.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
authorites
Correct your spelling
authorities
 should
train
Use synonyms
 their
empolyee
Correct your spelling
employees
 every month based on ethical values and interpersonal
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it would be better if the company
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
 display the chart about the procedure of refund, it can save a lot of time and make them independent to request their own refund. I am hoping to get a prompt response
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
 problem. Your faithfully, Harshi

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language
Fix spelling and grammar. Use simple, clear words.
structure
Make each paragraph have one main idea. Start with the problem, then the effect, then what you want.
tone
Be polite and formal. Avoid words like 'pathetic' and keep a calm tone.
content
Give exact details like date, ticket number, and place you spoke to so we can act on it.
content
The letter states the problem and asks for action.
tone
It has a greeting and closing.
The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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