IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Other believes it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There is an ongoing debate regarding the extra
subjects
Use synonyms
 on top of
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
subjects
Use synonyms
. Some dissenting voice believes that certain university
students
Use synonyms
 need to learn about other
subjects
Use synonyms
along with
Linking Words
main
Correct pronoun usage
their main
show examples
subjects
Use synonyms
.
others
Fix capitalization
Others
show examples
,
however
Linking Words
,
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
show examples
 that they should invest more time and focus on
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
subject
Use synonyms
 for better qualification. I, for one,
due to
Linking Words
 bring out the creativity and
figuring
Wrong verb form
figure
show examples
 out the
interest
Use synonyms
 from childhood, claiming to add other
Use synonyms
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
 into
core
Correct article usage
the core
show examples
Use synonyms
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
 will be
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 appropriate choice. On one hand,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of the
jobs specification
Fix the agreement mistake
job specifications
show examples
 are mainly linked with
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
subjects
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as maths, science, and
economies
Use the right word
economics
show examples
. The
students
Use synonyms
 had to undergo tedious assessment and
need
Wrong verb form
needed
show examples
 to cover
vast
Correct article usage
a vast
show examples
 syllabus
inorder
Use the right word
in order
show examples
 to
specialized
Replace the word
specialise
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
subjects
Use synonyms
. That said,
this
Linking Words
 qualification could be an
assest
Correct your spelling
asset
 for securing good jobs in future. The
charted
Use the right word
chartered
show examples
 accountant is a prime example, to accomplish any task in that role requires high proficiency in
arthimetic
Correct your spelling
arithmetic
 and logical reasoning
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
coorelates
Correct your spelling
correlates
 with
maths
Correct article usage
the maths
show examples
subject
Use synonyms
. Getting
employement
Correct your spelling
employment
,
therefore
Linking Words
, becomes easier if
students
Use synonyms
 invest more time and energy
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 learning
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
subject
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, adding other
subjects
Use synonyms
 can
helps
Wrong verb form
help
show examples
 the
students
Use synonyms
 to think out of the
boxes
Fix the agreement mistake
box
show examples
 and
enhances
Correct subject-verb agreement
enhance
show examples
 their creativity. The
subjects
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as drawing or music could bring
color
Change the spelling
colour
show examples
 into their life and make learning more enjoyable. It is observed that
students
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 who love to paint from childhood
tends
Correct subject-verb agreement
tend
show examples
 to be
more
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
happier and healthier during their adulthood.
what's
Fix capitalization
What's
show examples
 more is that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 they
becomes
Correct subject-verb agreement
become
show examples
 problem solvers and can handle complex life problems, which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 essential skills in
both
Use synonyms
 personal
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
as well as
Linking Words
 professional life.
Thus
Linking Words
, learning other
subjects
Use synonyms
 could
brings
Wrong verb form
bring
show examples
 out their imagination into the real world, which can
aids
Wrong verb form
aid
show examples
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the holistic development of
students
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, I still opine that studying other
subjects
Use synonyms
 can help
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
find out their areas of
interest
Use synonyms
 from childhood. If they are able to comprehend the concepts, learning will be more engaging
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and easier
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
both
Use synonyms
. The music classes,
for instance
Linking Words
, where
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
 are
incline
Replace the word
inclined
show examples
 to learn new chords with excitement.
This
Linking Words
interest
Use synonyms
 perhaps be turned
a
Change preposition
into a
show examples
carrier
Use the right word
career
show examples
 option
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as a musician or a singer
in
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
 the future.
Hence
Linking Words
, having
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
broaden
Replace the word
broad
show examples
 view of other
subjects
Use synonyms
 can help them to choose their areas of
interest
Use synonyms
 in future.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
both
Use synonyms
 sides present strong arguments. Exploring new
subjects
Use synonyms
,
nonetheless
Linking Words
, brings out the imagination, which could help
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
overall
Linking Words
 development and
finds
Correct subject-verb agreement
find
show examples
 out the
carrier
Use the right word
career
show examples
 choices.
Students
Use synonyms
 should strike
balance
Correct article usage
a balance
show examples
 between
both
Use synonyms
 and choose the
subjects
Use synonyms
 based on their
Use synonyms
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
show examples
 for better development.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task
Make your view clear in the first paragraph and keep it steady in all paragraphs.
task
Add more real examples that link to your point.
coherence
Arrange ideas in a clear flow; use topic sentences for each main point.
language
Keep short and clear sentences, and fix spelling and grammar.
structure
You show a balance of sides.
coherence
You give your own view at the end.
content
You use simple ideas from life like music and math.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
What to do next:
Look at other essays: