IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.

Some university
students
Use synonyms
 prefer learning additional
subjects
Use synonyms
besides
Linking Words
 their main major,
while
Linking Words
 others believe that
students
Use synonyms
 should focus only on the main
courses
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 specialisation is essential, I firmly believe that learning different
subjects
Use synonyms
 could not only help the
students
Use synonyms
 to manage their time more efficiently, but
also
Linking Words
 allow them to gain knowledge from different fields, which may benefit their future careers. Studying more
subjects
Use synonyms
 can actually provide a better understanding of various fields
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and create more job opportunities.
For instance
Linking Words
, a business student who learns plenty of
subjects
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as psychology and new languages may normally develop stronger time-management, creativity and communication skills. Studying psychology allows them to have a better understanding
about
Change preposition
of
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 human behaviour, which can be useful in careers
such
Linking Words
 as human resources.
In addition
Linking Words
, being bilingual or trilingual enables people to communicate with others easily.
Therefore
Linking Words
, most employers often offer a vacancy for applicants who
are
Verb problem
have
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 with stronger educational background and are willing to deal with any difficulties.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
students
Use synonyms
 prefer to dedicate all of their time and attention
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their core
courses
Use synonyms
, assuming that it is the only way to achieve academic qualification. They may argue that time is
limiting
Replace the word
limited
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 and mastering only one major is more crucial than studying additional
courses
Use synonyms
. They may
also
Linking Words
 point out that some of the
courses
Use synonyms
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as engineering, medicine, and
law
Punctuation problem
law,
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 require intensive learning strategies in order to gain expertise.
However
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, even
students
Use synonyms
 in these areas can benefit from studying basic psychology to
recognize
Change the spelling
recognise
show examples
 human behaviours to assist their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
.

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task response
Your view is clear, but add a short end to the essay that restates your view and main idea.
coherence cohesion
Link ideas more easily. Use simple links and a clear topic sentence in each paragraph to show one main idea.
strength
You state a clear view in the opening.
strength
You give examples to show your point.
strength
You mention both sides before giving your own view.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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