IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Reading fiction (such as novels and short stories) is more enjoyable than watching movies. Use specific reasons and examples to explain your position.

Reading is essential for those who seek to rise above the ordinary.
This
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 essay
analyze
Replace the word
analyses
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 that reading novels and flash fiction are more interesting
rather
Rephrase
apply
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than watching films. I totally agree with the given statement with some supportive arguments and
relevant
Correct article usage
a relevant
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 conclusion in the forthcoming paragraphs. There are some causes
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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why I look
reading
Change preposition
at reading
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 as a better choice rather than
view
Replace the word
viewing
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 series.
Firstly
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, book learning
enhance
Correct subject-verb agreement
enhances
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 imagination power, focus,
concentration
Correct word choice
and concentration
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. What I mean,
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this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
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 novels and short
stories
Fix the agreement mistake
story
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 books give
the
Correct article usage
apply
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wings to our dreams and
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
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 to grow our thinking levels.
For example
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,
Money
Correct article usage
the Money
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heist
Fix capitalization
Heist
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 book that
change
Correct subject-verb agreement
changes
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
Check wording
people's
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 perspectives on certain situations.
Thus
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, reading is
bless
Wrong verb form
a blessing
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 for those who want to improve themselves.
Furthermore
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 , reading works as a hobby or source of entertainment.
In other words
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, reading has no drawbacks rather
than
Change preposition
unlike
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 cellphones and
television
Punctuation problem
television,
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has
Verb problem
which can
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 even
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
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 to sharpen the brain, expand the vocabulary. Reading
owned
Verb problem
has
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 an essential place in
this
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 world nowadays .
For instance
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, in IELTS, PTE,
CELPIP
Correct word choice
and CELPIP
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reading
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, reading
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 is one of the
module
Fix the agreement mistake
modules
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 in these tests. Consequences, reading is
far
Correct article usage
a far
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 better option
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while
Change preposition
than
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 watching
television
Punctuation problem
television,
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to
Change preposition
as
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 get
bad
Verb problem
has bad
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affects
Use the right word
effects
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 on
eyes
Correct article usage
the eyes
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.
To conclude
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, I know some people
feels
Correct subject-verb agreement
feel
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 more relaxed when
there
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 are watching films because of the favourite actors
play
Wrong verb form
playing
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 the hero role
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 they have many bad impacts as well
despite
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, despite
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 only the reading habit
which
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, which
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 has zero drawbacks
only
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, only
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 benefits
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
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 to grow
people
Check wording
people's
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 cognitive skills , communication skills

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organization
Plan your essay first. Write a clear short intro that says your view. Then have 2 or 3 short paragraphs with one main idea each and a short end.
language
Use simple sentences. Fix grammar and avoid long run on phrases. Keep to the main idea in each sentence.
content
Give better and more clear examples that stay on the topic of reading and films. Explain how reading helps the mind, and compare with films in a simple way.
coherence
Link ideas with small words: first, also, but, finally. Check that ideas go in a smooth line from one to the next.
content
The essay shows a clear view.
structure
There is an introduction and a conclusion.
content
Some effort to give reasons and examples.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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