IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Reading fiction (such as novels and short stories) is more enjoyable than watching movies. Use specific reasons and examples to explain your position.

Personally,I don't agree with it.The reasons can be listed as
follow
Correct subject-verb agreement
follows
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: First,
Readers
Use synonyms
 have more sensory experiences.
when
Fix capitalization
When
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 we are watching movies,it is the music, light and special
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
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 that facilitate us to immerse
Correct pronoun usage
ourselves into
show examples
into
Change preposition
in
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 the stories and movie plots,
Which
Fix capitalization
which
show examples
 can not be achieved
be
Use the right word
by
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 reading
physical
Correct article usage
a physical
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 book.Take
Avatar
Correct word order
apply
show examples
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 film
as
Correct word order
Avatar as
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 an example.The special effect in
this
Linking Words
 film is really
impresive
Correct your spelling
impressive
,when the main character is flying above the mountains first time,He is screaming and laughing
unconsiciously
Correct your spelling
unconsciously
,you can feel his joy for freedom through the changes of different scenes and the character's expression.Sometimes you are even like flying right
along with
Linking Words
 him.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
If
Fix capitalization
if
show examples
 we are watching an animation,fantasy scenes can deliver a strong visual impact directly,which
offer
Correct subject-verb agreement
offers
show examples
 a more enjoyable experience for
readers
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
readers
Use synonyms
 are offered an easier comprehension.Like some complex historical events,the movie uses visual storytelling to present the timeline and key incidents through straightforward plot development,which saves us from struggling to sort out multiple character lines and historical details.
As a result
Linking Words
 ,it may encourage some
readers
Use synonyms
 who are not interested in history are willing to learn some new knowledge in
this
Linking Words
 way.It is because the
easy-learning
Use the right word
easy learning
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
offer
Correct subject-verb agreement
offers
show examples
them a sense of achievement and fun. There is no denying that some
readers
Use synonyms
 prefer reading physical books.The texture of the paper ,the smell of ink,
the
Correct word choice
and the
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 touch of turning pages
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
 can bring a sense of ritual and intimacy.But from my perspective,watching movies can provide
stronger
Correct article usage
a stronger
show examples
 sense of engagement and multiple sensory
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
also
Linking Words
 offer a time-saving way to learn the story.

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grammar
Fix long sentences and basic grammar. Use full stops and commas to avoid run-on lines.
coherence
Put a clear topic sentence at the start of each paragraph. Use simple link words like and, but, so.
structure
Open with a short intro that states your view and end with a simple conclusion restating it.
content
You state your view clearly from the start.
content
You give examples from film to back points.
structure
You use order words to show steps (First, Secondly).
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • enjoy
  • reading
  • fiction
  • novels
  • stories
  • movies
  • watch
  • like
  • love
  • prefer
  • imagine
  • scene
  • character
  • feeling
  • time
  • speed
  • own
  • mind
  • remember
  • words
  • learn
  • example
  • start
  • finish
What to do next:
Look at other essays: