IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

. Nowadays more people are choosing to live with friends or alone rather than with their families. This trend is likely to have a negative impact on communities

Urbanization
Change the spelling
Urbanisation
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 and modern life have presented
people
Use synonyms
 with a number of challenges and decisions.
However
Linking Words
, the number one challenge is related to housing for citizens.
While
Linking Words
 some argue
most
Correct word choice
that most
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 have a tendency to live alone or with friends nowadays. It can cause many serious problems in society. In my view,
although
Linking Words
 living apart from parents may pose a threat to traditional relationships, living independently goes a long way toward personal growth. On the one hand, there is a definite link between living alone and developing some mental disorders. Human beings usually rely on social and emotional support from their families and friends to overcome difficulties in their lives. If they do not have the chance to be beside their family members, they may suffer from a lot of anxiety and depression
due to
Linking Words
 a lack of
such
Linking Words
supports
Fix the agreement mistake
support
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, which can weaken family structure in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 long term.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, living alone does not necessarily come with many disadvantages. To clarify, in
this
Linking Words
 modern era,
people
Use synonyms
 have gotten used to having one child.
This
Linking Words
 increases a great tendency among the new generation to live with their friends. Aside from providing a great opportunity to spend quality time with like-minded
people
Use synonyms
, it
also
Linking Words
 allows them to learn how to manage an independent life.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
such
Linking Words
 individuals are more likely to address difficulties easily in their adulthood, since they have learned from the earliest years of their lives to rely on themselves rather than depend on others. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 some argue that promoting the culture of living alone has a lot of negative effects on the structure of the traditional way of living. I believe we should let children live alone, which not only improves their personal growth but
also
Linking Words
 benefits the whole society

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task response
State your view clearly in the first paragraph. Keep one main idea in each paragraph. Make your points match the task. End with a clear conclusion that repeats your view.
coherence cohesion
Use clear topic sentences. Link ideas with simple words like first, next, also, however. Make sure each idea fits the paragraph and flows to the next.
structure
There is a clear start, middle and end.
coherence
Some links like On the one hand and On the other hand are used.
ideas
The essay shows thoughts on both sides of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Erosion
  • Communal cohesion
  • Geographical dispersion
  • Interpersonal relationships
  • Socio-economic factors
  • Real estate dynamics
  • Psychological well-being
  • Technological facilitation
  • Independence
  • Traditional vs modern lifestyles
  • Intergenerational relationships
  • Virtual communities
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