IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The following two pie charts display the results of a survey into the popularity of various leisure activities with European adults in 1985 and 1995. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The following two pie charts display the results of a survey into the popularity of various leisure activities with European adults in 1985 and 1995. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The two pie charts depict the information about the
two years
Use the right word
two-year
show examples
 survey of European
idults
Correct your spelling
adults
 between 1985 and 1995.
Overall
Linking Words
, it
clear
Verb problem
is clear
show examples
 in the chart that in 1985, the adults were not introduced
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
. So, they
were spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 most of
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 time
to watch
Wrong verb form
watching
show examples
 Television. Their second
favourit
Correct your spelling
favourite
 hobby was eating out with 23%, respectively.
Similarly
Linking Words
, in 1995, the ratio of watching Television and playing
computergames
Correct your spelling
computer games
 was almost close to each other
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 30% and 27%. The proportion of talking with family and friends was 7% and 26%. Their tendency
of eating
Change preposition
to eat
show examples
 out and others were around 8% and 2%.
Additionally
Linking Words
, in 1985, the adults had
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 18%
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 of
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 time with family and 21%
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 with
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 friends.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • survey results
  • popularity
  • leisure activities
  • European adults
  • significant rise
  • steady
  • collectively
  • slight increase
  • emerged
  • accounting for
  • percentage of people
  • new leisure activity
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