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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below shows life expectancy trends in six regions of Asia from 1950 and projections until 2300. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.”

The graph below shows life expectancy trends in six regions of Asia from 1950 and projections until 2300. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.”
The visual data shows the life expectancy of societies living in different parts of
Asia
Use synonyms
, starting from 1950 and forecasting to 2300.
Overall
Linking Words
, the graph shows different
growth
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 rates, but with the main trend being a constant gain in percentage. Two notable observations are that other parts of Eastern
Asia
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 and China are in first and second place, respectively, among all the
regions
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 every region maintained a strong increase in percentages, China and other parts of Eastern
Asia
Use synonyms
 are the
regions
Use synonyms
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
that had the biggest
growth
Use synonyms
 in life expectancy until 2000, and are
also
Linking Words
 predicted to stay on top until 2300.
Secondly
Linking Words
, other
regions
Use synonyms
 like India, Western
Asia
Use synonyms
, other South-Central Asian
regions
Use synonyms
, and South-Eastern
regions
Use synonyms
 kept the same trend of
growth
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 forecasting to bunch together from 2100 until 2300.
Finally
Linking Words
, comparing all the
regions
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 with each other, we observe that the trend was always upward in the percentage rate. From the six
regions
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, only China and other Eastern
Asia
Use synonyms
regions
Use synonyms
 are predicted to differentiate from the others through faster
growth
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.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words asia, growth, regions with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 4 times.
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