IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

he flow chart shows "trampling", the negative effect of tourists walking in the countryside for the environment. Summarize the informtion by selecting and reporting the main features.

he flow chart shows "trampling", the negative effect of tourists walking in the countryside for the environment. Summarize the informtion by selecting and reporting the main features.
The chart below shows how tourists have a negative impact on the environment by walking in the countryside. In the first stage, the grass is being flattened by the tourists walking in the area.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 causes
soil
Use synonyms
 to become hard underfoot.
Moreover
Linking Words
, plants are
also
Linking Words
 damaged by the
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
due to
Linking Words
them
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
walkin
Correct your spelling
walking
 on
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
 vegetation being damaged
plants
Punctuation problem
, plants
show examples
 tend to become weaker and they do not reproduce and grow anymore. As noted above, because the
soil
Use synonyms
 is getting damaged, it causes
reduction
Correct article usage
a reduction
show examples
 in air and water quality in the
soil
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is
also
Linking Words
 the reason why plant life struggles to grow and reproduce normally. Moving on, increased erosion runs
of
Change preposition
off
show examples
 the land
leading
Punctuation problem
, leading
show examples
 to reduced vegetation.
Finally
Linking Words
, all of
this
Linking Words
 information above shows the steps
Change preposition
by how
show examples
how
Correct word choice
which
show examples
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
 are harming the environment by just walking.
Lastly
Linking Words
, the walking is causing erosion and
decreased
Wrong verb form
decreasing
show examples
 the quality of
soil
Use synonyms
 and plant life.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, due to".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words soil with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: