IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the sector contributions to India's gross domestic product from 1960 to 2000.

The bar chart below shows the sector contributions to India's gross domestic product from 1960 to 2000.
The bar chart illustrates the contribution of three major sectors
for
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to
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India
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's GDP from 1960 to 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, Agriculture proportion decreased during the period,
while
Linking Words
 Services
percentages
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apply
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increased significantly in the
last
Linking Words
 40 years.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the Industrial proportions
was
Verb problem
apply
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grew slightly with some fluctuations in
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 years. First and foremost, in 1960, agriculture was the highest contributor
of
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to
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Use synonyms
India
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India's
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 GDP by more than 60 per
cent
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, followed by services and industry respectively. Evidently, the contribution of Agriculture decreased by 10 per
cent
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 in 1970, and it continued to plummet to 15 per
cent
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at the end
Linking Words
 of the period.
Secondly
Linking Words
, services in 1960
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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unpopular
Correct article usage
an unpopular
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contributors
Fix the agreement mistake
contributor
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for
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to
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India
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's GDP by 18 per
cent
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.
However
Linking Words
, it witnessed a consistent rise from 1970 to 2000 and became the highest
expenditures
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expenditure
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 in
India
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 by more than 60 per
cent
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.
Lastly
Linking Words
, Industry rose from 15 per
cent
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 at the beginning to approximately 30 per
cent
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 in 1990, and suddenly it fell to 25 per
cent
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 in 2000.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words india, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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