IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

All cars that burn fossil fuels should be banned and electric cars should replace them. Do you agree or disagree?

There is no denying the fact that renewable energy plays a vital role in maintaining our health and environment.
While
Linking Words
 it is a commonly held belief that all
cars
Use synonyms
 with fossil
fuels engine
Fix the agreement mistake
fuel engines
show examples
 should be replaced with electric
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
, some individuals believe that
this
Linking Words
 trend
require
Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
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 an immense budget.
In
Change preposition
From
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 my perspective, I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 idea to protect our world, and provide new generations with
safely
Replace the word
a safe
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 climate. On one hand, recent updates in the energy field play a pivotal role in preventing the emission of greenhouse
and
Check wording
gases and
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 carbon dioxide.
In other words
Linking Words
, these advanced machines encourage
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society to maintain
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the ecosystems.
In addition
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, a new vehicle which
work
Correct subject-verb agreement
works
show examples
 with
a
Correct article usage
apply
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renewable energy, like wind, solar and
electronic
Use the right word
electric
show examples
power
Punctuation problem
power,
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 contributing to provide a healthy medium,
also
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 it has
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
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 impact on the economic systems.
For example
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,
explosion
Correct article usage
the explosion
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 of Tesla and Lucid
cars
Use synonyms
 in the USA and the KSA, these companies developed the concept of traditional machines by
formation of
Wrong verb form
forming
show examples
 sophisticated
automobile
Fix the agreement mistake
automobiles
show examples
 with substantial advantages for both people and governments.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some households still believe that the old motors are better and safer than modern technology.
Although
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the traditional
cars
Use synonyms
 need a massive cost
due to
Linking Words
 the global price of oil.
While
Linking Words
 the authorities
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
 established their initiatives to educate the population about the drawbacks of fossil oil on the public.
For instance
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, some modern cities
obligated
Verb problem
require
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
citizens to use
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
electric
cars
Use synonyms
, and they
stop
Wrong verb form
have stopped
show examples
 the production lines of antique vehicles. In conclusion, the advantages of
new
Correct article usage
the new
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 dynamo outweigh the disadvantages.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I tend to consider that all bodies should have electronic motors rather than
classic
Correct article usage
a classic
show examples
 generator.

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structure
Make a clear plan before you write. Start with a short view in the intro. In body 1, give one big idea and a simple reason. In body 2, give another idea. End with a short conclusion that restates your view.
coherence
Use simple links to join ideas. Words like first, also, but, however, and for example help the flow and show how ideas connect.
content
Support each idea with a full reason or a practical example. Explain why this idea helps the goal you set. Keep to 2 or 3 ideas only.
lexis
Choose exact words for key ideas. Words like fossil fuel, electric car, renewable energy, cost. Check word use so it is clear.
grammar
Watch grammar. Many mistakes make meaning hard. Use short sentences with a verb and a subject. Read aloud to check.
task response
The essay shows a clear stance on the topic.
coherence
There is some relevant idea on energy and cars.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fossil fuels
  • emissions
  • air pollution
  • greenhouse gases
  • climate change
  • sustainable
  • renewable
  • electric vehicles
  • battery technology
  • charging infrastructure
  • range anxiety
  • government support
  • incentives
  • subsidies
  • renewable energy
  • environmental impact
  • energy efficiency
What to do next:
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