IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevent example from your own knowledge or experience.

So far, the usual applied method is that employers have to spend five
days
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 actively working and relax for the remaining two
days
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.
However
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, ıt is now argued that weekends should be longer in order to shorten the working
days
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.
This
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 essay will discuss some reasons why I strongly agree with
this
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 idea.
Firstly
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, all employers have significant needs in order to be in their most efficient state. One of the most remarkable reasons to shorten the working
days
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 is to protect physical well-being. Limited 48 hours is not long enough to ensure individuals are physically active. Taking breaks from screens is
also
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 essential for our physical health. The quintessential
for
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issue for
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this
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 issue is eye diseases that are caused by overusing computers.
Moreover
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, there are other important reasons
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such
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, such
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 as mental health. Not spending enough time with loved ones or not being able to spend some time alone for personal growth can cause depression and anxiety
which
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, which
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 these troubles would definitely
increase
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decrease
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 the productivity of the workforce. So, longer weekends would lead to higher productivity.
To conclude
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, lengthening the weekends has valid and beneficial arguments for companies and the individual who works for them. I firmly agree that the working week should be much shorter.

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task response
In task response, state your main view clearly at the start and give clear reasons for it. add more details or facts to back up each reason.
task response
Try to add at least one personal or real example to show how the idea works in real life.
coherence
Use simple link words to show order and connect ideas, like first, next, also, and finally.
coherence
Put ideas in separate paragraphs. start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that names the main idea of that paragraph.
strength
You show a clear stance on shortening the work week.
strength
You use basic linking words to move from one idea to the next.
strength
The essay talks about important health points (physical and mental health).
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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