IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that government should be held responsible when problem of homelessness snd unemployment arise.Do you agree or disagree

Some individuals believe that authorities should take responsibility for issues related to unhoused and joblessness. I agree with the given statement to a great extent, because
its
Use the right word
it's
show examples
Correct article usage
a government
show examples
government
Check wording
government's
show examples
 duty to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 basic needs of their
population
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as food and
shelter
Punctuation problem
shelter,
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 will be discussed in
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
 in the upcoming paragraphs. One of the main reasons that the government should be held responsible for removing the problem of housing insecurity and worklessness, because
its
Use the right word
it's
show examples
 their duty to provide basic needs of their country's
population
Use synonyms
. So
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 that they can live their
life
Use synonyms
 in a sufficient way. Another reason is that
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
 council should provide free of cost university education to all the children who
belongs
Correct subject-verb agreement
belong
show examples
 to poor families, as their families cannot afford their education costs. By getting
college
Correct article usage
a college
show examples
 education, they will be able to secure a well-paid job. In
this
Linking Words
 way, in the latter
Use synonyms
life
Add a comma
life,
show examples
 they can handle their household cost
as well as
Linking Words
 studies.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
It's
Fix capitalization
it's
show examples
 not only the responsibility of
Correct article usage
the
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
, but
also
Linking Words
general
Correct article usage
the general
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 as well. If student
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
do proper study from the starting period of their
life
Use synonyms
, they will easily be able to obtain
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better career opportunities in their
life
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
:- One of my cousins completed his
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
graduation with proper determination and dedication, and now he
got
Verb problem
has
show examples
 a
well- paid
Use the right word
well-paid
show examples
 job in their own home country. Now, he can live their
life
Use synonyms
 without the help of others. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 local
council
Fix the agreement mistake
councils
show examples
 have a greater responsibility in terms of fulfilling the employment and housing factor for their local
population
Use synonyms
,
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
population
Use synonyms
fullfill
Correct your spelling
fulfils
 their
reponsibilities
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
 by studying and getting
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
.

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coherence
Make your ideas clearer with main sentences at the start of each paragraph. Use easy link words like because, also, but. This helps the flow of the essay.
content
Add stronger links from policy to effect. Say how a rule, like free uni, helps less well-off people find work and stop homeless days.
grammar
Fix basic grammar and spell words right. Check verbs, pronouns, and note plural form. Keep sentences simple and short.
stance
The writer shows a clear view and stays on the topic.
content
There are real ideas about government work and education for poor families.
structure
Some linking words are used and the essay has a simple structure.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • government
  • responsibility
  • homelessness
  • unemployment
  • policy
  • plan
  • budget
  • housing
  • jobs
  • work
  • skills
  • training
  • safety net
  • welfare
  • benefits
  • rent
  • economy
  • business
  • community
  • accountability
  • evidence
  • outcome
  • goal
  • measure
  • results
  • improve
  • change
  • opportunity
  • growth
  • support
  • fund
What to do next:
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