IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some countries have legal ages at which people can drink. Other countries believe not having strict laws is a better policy. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

First,
Linking Words
for the advocates
suporting
Correct your spelling
supporting
set
Wrong verb form
setting
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 up a legal age at which people can drink, they believe that
alchol
Correct your spelling
alcohol
 will harm them and affect their body development
Punctuation problem
, especailly
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especailly
Correct your spelling
especially
brain
Correct article usage
the brain
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. Some researches figure out that most
of
Change preposition
apply
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people will have a
well developed
Use the right word
well-developed
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 body system
in
Change preposition
apply
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around eighteen years old.
However
Linking Words
, if those
who
Correct pronoun usage
whose
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 body
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
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 have not yet
well
Rephrase
fully
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 developed drink
alchol
Correct your spelling
alcohol
 will harm their brain

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grammar spelling
Fix spelling and grammar. Use correct forms like alcohol and brain.
structure
Add a short intro and a short conclusion to show two sides and your view.
content
Explain both sides, not only one. Give points for the other view.
examples
Use simple, real examples or facts to back ideas.
coherence
Link ideas with clear connect words like first, also, but, however.
idea
There is a main idea about the need to set a drinking age.
style
The writing sticks to a simple topic and uses common words.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Legal drinking age
  • Underage drinking
  • Health repercussions
  • Addiction
  • Drunk-driving
  • Responsible drinking
  • Forbidden fruit
  • Social rituals
  • Public health
  • Safety framework
  • Risks of alcohol
  • Cultural differences
What to do next:
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