IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You recently travelled on the local bus service in your town. You think the driver drove badly and was rude to the passengers. Write a letter to the manager of the local bus service. In your letter introduce yourself and say when the incident happened describe what you saw and heard say what you would like the bus company to do about it

Dear Sir/
madam
Fix capitalization
Madam
show examples
, I hope
this
Linking Words
 letter finds you well. My name is Lovprit Kaur. I am writing to
compain
Correct your spelling
complain
 about one of the
bus
Use synonyms
driver
Fix the agreement mistake
drivers
show examples
 in OC Transport. On 3rd November, I was travelling to my work
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bus
Use synonyms
 number 88 Hurdman, around 1:00 PM. The driver of the
bus
Use synonyms
 was very rude
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 his driving was inappropriate. He was driving very fast on the route.
Moreover
Linking Words
, he ignored a few stops even when there were
passangers
Correct your spelling
passengers
 waiting for the
bus
Use synonyms
.
Besides
Linking Words
, every time he
was stopping
Wrong verb form
stopped
show examples
, the breaks it
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 very sudden and hard, even an old man fell
in
Change preposition
off
show examples
 the
bus
Use synonyms
 because of it. He was
responing
Correct your spelling
responding
 very
arrogently
Correct your spelling
arrogantly
saying
Punctuation problem
, saying
show examples
 that he does not care
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 if anyone was asking him to drive a
littel
Correct your spelling
little
 slow. For
solution
Correct article usage
the solution
show examples
, I would like you to look
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the matter. It is very important to talk to the driver and teach him some basic social and driving manners. Do you need a
vitness
Correct your spelling
witness
 for the
insident
Correct your spelling
incident
?
if
Fix capitalization
If
show examples
 yes, I can come to the OC Transport office. If not, please do your best to
have
Verb problem
make
show examples
 an inquiry about the complaint and inform me
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
further
Linking Words
 details. I would appreciate
you
Correct pronoun usage
your
show examples
considration
Correct your spelling
consideration
 and time.
Your Sincerely
Use the right word
Yours sincerely
show examples
, Lovprit Kaur.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar/spelling
Fix spelling and use simple, correct words.
structure
Plan the letter: intro, then describe what you saw, then say what you want done.
tone
Keep a calm, polite tone and avoid strong words.
paragraphing
Put ideas into separate paragraphs: intro, incident, action you want.
clarity
Date, place, and the incident are clear.
content
The letter asks for action and offers to give a witness.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Incident
  • Driver's behavior
  • Attitude
  • Passenger
  • Rude
  • Manner
  • Inappropriate
  • Unprofessional
  • Responsible
  • Safety
  • Complaint
  • Apology
  • Compensation
  • Improve
  • Customer service
  • Conduct
What to do next:
Look at other essays: