IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You have just finished your master’s degree and need to leave your current part-time job to search for full-time employment. Write a letter to your current employer. In your letter ● explain why you will not pursue a full-time job in his/her company ● say why you’ve enjoyed working for him/her ● tell him/her how much longer you will continue to work for him/her

Dear Sir, Thank you for giving me
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 opportunity
for being
Change preposition
to be
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 a part-time
employer
Use the right word
employee
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 as a chief in your restaurant. I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to inform you about my leaving the current role in order to pursue
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
full time
Use the right word
full-time
show examples
 employment in my field . I recently completed my course in
master's
Correct article usage
a master's
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 degree
of
Change preposition
in
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 computer science with flying colours, and to be honest, I am desperate to work in my field
job
Check wording
apply
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, which is
software
Correct article usage
a software
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 engineer. As you know, I'm working as a
cooker line
Check wording
cook
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 in your
resturant
Correct your spelling
restaurant
, which
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
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 not
allign
Correct your spelling
align
 with my goals and career perspective.
Thats
Use the right word
That's
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 why
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 I am looking for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
full time
Use the right word
full-time
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 employment
mostly
Punctuation problem
, mostly
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 in the IT sector. Honestly speaking,
It
Fix capitalization
it
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 was your supportive team members that helped me to solve critical problems in the fast-paced environment, and
also
Linking Words
 taught me about
team work
Use the right word
teamwork
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, which is crucial for my career growth.
Moreover
Linking Words
, I felt a strong bond with co-workers, especially my supervisor
who
Punctuation problem
, who
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 treated me like a family member. I would be allocating most of my time
on
Change preposition
to
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 drafting my resume and
apply
Wrong verb form
applying
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 on various job websites.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, I will be serving
two
Correct determiner usage
a
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weeks
Use the right word
two-week
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of
Change preposition
apply
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notice period as per your company policy, and do not worry about my replacement because I can refer one of my
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
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 who is
also
Linking Words
 hardworking like me. I
hoping
Verb problem
am hoping
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 to get a positive response on
this
Linking Words
 matter from you, and
Seriously
Fix capitalization
seriously
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, I will be missing all of the team
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
show examples
, who were like a family. Yours faithfully, Rashi

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task response
The letter fits the task but needs a clearer plan. Split your reason for leaving, praise for the team, and the notice into three clear parts. Each part should be in its own short line.
coherence and cohesion
Link the ideas better. Use a new paragraph for a new idea. Use simple join words to move from one idea to the next (for example, first, then, next).
tone
Polite tone most of the time.
content
States the two weeks notice clearly.
content
Shows thanks to co-workers.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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