IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that children who spend alot of time reading children's story books are wasting their time which could be better used doing other more useful activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some Individuals believe that those
children
Use synonyms
 who spend a lot of
time
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to read
Wrong verb form
reading
show examples
story books
Use the right word
storybooks
show examples
 are wasting their precious
time
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, so they should engage in other useful
activities
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Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as
spend
Replace the word
spending
show examples
time
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 with family and friends, learn valuable
skills
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 by playing sports, etcetera. I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 notion. I think reading is not a bad habit
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
children
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 should be a part of other
activities
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 because it is essential for their holistic development. Spending more
time
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 on reading
story books
Use the right word
storybooks
show examples
 helps
children
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 in various ways. First and foremost is
children
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 become more creative and imaginative. It is commonly seen that those
children
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 who are reading their favourite fictional tales are more active than
normal
Correct word choice
other
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 students.
In addition
Linking Words
, they learn a new language and words on
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
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 basis, which
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 them
more
Correct article usage
a more
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 intelligent person.
Moreover
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, reading distinct books helps
children
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 to improve their academic grades, and by reading varied genres can create their interest in a particular language, which
improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
show examples
 their vocabulary
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and concentration level when they read it.
On the other hand
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, teachers and parents play an indispensable role in
children
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's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
, so they should encourage them to participate in other useful
activities
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. A child can learn valuable
skills
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 by playing any sport on
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
show examples
 basis.
For instance
Linking Words
, those
children
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 who spend one or two hours in a playground are more active than others. Even they can learn interpersonal
skills
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 easily, which
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
 their patience
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and confidence level.
Secondly
Linking Words
, youngsters should spend
time
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 with their elders
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and friends. In
this
Linking Words
 way, they can learn social
skills
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, and build their
bondings
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bond
show examples
 stronger than ever.
Also
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, it helps to relieve their stress level when they share their personal matters with them. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 excessive reading of storybooks may limit
children
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's exposure to other valuable experiences, it is far from a waste of
time
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. Reading enhances creativity, language
skills
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, and academic performance.
However
Linking Words
, for well-rounded development,
children
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 should
also
Linking Words
 engage in physical
activities
Use synonyms
, social interactions, and skill-building pursuits. A balanced approach is key to nurturing both their intellectual and emotional growth

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task response
Be very clear on your view in the first paragraph and give one or two strong reasons with simple examples. Watch small grammar errors.
coherence and cohesion
Make your ideas fit in one main idea per paragraph. Use clear link words like first, also, but, so, for example. Keep sentences short and check that each sentence has a clear idea.
strength
You show a clear view and keep it through the essay.
strength
You give reasons why reading helps kids and you try to give examples.
strength
The end has a balance idea and a clear close.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • time
  • read
  • book
  • story
  • child
  • learn
  • language
  • word
  • play
  • sport
  • family
  • friend
  • school
  • grow
  • think
  • listen
  • talk
  • idea
  • calm
  • help
  • balance
  • life
  • world
  • skill
What to do next:
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