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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The given line graph provides data on the number of contestants participating in various
activities
Use synonyms
 at one social
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 in Melbourne, Australia
from
Punctuation problem
, from
show examples
 the beginning of the 20th century to 2020. It can be seen that at the beginning of the 20th century,
people
Use synonyms
 participated in four disciplines,
such
Linking Words
 as
film
Use synonyms
club
Use synonyms
, martial
arts
Use synonyms
,
amateur
Use synonyms
dramatics
Use synonyms
 and
table
Use synonyms
tennis
Use synonyms
, except for musical performances. Over 60
people
Use synonyms
 were engaging in
film
Use synonyms
club
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 approximately 18, 26 and 36
people
Use synonyms
 were involved in
table
Use synonyms
tennis
Use synonyms
,
amateur
Use synonyms
dramatics
Use synonyms
 and martial
arts
Use synonyms
activities
Use synonyms
. From 2000 to
2005
Punctuation problem
2005,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
’s participation in
table
Use synonyms
tennis
Use synonyms
,
amateur
Use synonyms
dramatics
Use synonyms
 and martial
arts
Use synonyms
activities
Use synonyms
 remained quite stable
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 contenders started taking part in musical performances from 2005. No change can be seen for
table
Use synonyms
tennis
Use synonyms
activities
Use synonyms
 from 2005 to 2010;
then
Linking Words
, from
2010
Punctuation problem
2010,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
’s participation increased significantly and reached its peak at 2020, which is over 50. Participation in martial
arts
Use synonyms
 and
film
Use synonyms
club
Use synonyms
activities
Use synonyms
 remained almost the same throughout the mentioned period. As compared to these two
activities
Use synonyms
,
amateur
Use synonyms
dramatics
Use synonyms
 experienced a dramatic
declined
Replace the word
decline
show examples
 from 2005 and dipped
at
Change preposition
to
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his
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 lowest point in 2020, where
below
Change preposition
than
show examples
 10
people
Use synonyms
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
taking
interest
Correct article usage
an interest
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 it.
Overall
Linking Words
, the majority of individuals took part in
film
Use synonyms
club
Use synonyms
activities
Use synonyms
 within
this
Linking Words
 time frame.
In contrast
Linking Words
, fewer and fewer
people
Use synonyms
 are losing interest in taking part in
amateur
Use synonyms
dramatics
Use synonyms
 activity
from
Change preposition
since
show examples
 2005.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words activities, people, film, club, arts, amateur, dramatics, table, tennis with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • participation rates
  • trends
  • significant increases/decreases
  • stable numbers
  • fluctuations
  • overall participation
  • comparison
  • activities
  • social centre
  • Melbourne
  • participants
  • highlight
  • report
  • graph illustrates/demonstrates
  • 20-year period
  • key features
  • main features
  • statistical data
  • variations
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