IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that to solve traffic and transportation problems, people should live in cities, instead of the countryside. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Discussion over
transportation
Use synonyms
 and
traffic
Use synonyms
 problems becomes
major
Correct article usage
a major
show examples
 issue in many countries, especially for the
people
Use synonyms
 who believe that domicile in urban areas
offer
Correct subject-verb agreement
offers
show examples
 solutions,
instead
Linking Words
 of living in rural areas.
However
Linking Words
, I fully disagree with
this
Linking Words
 notion, since
to live
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
 in
Correct article usage
the countrysides
show examples
countrysides
Fix the agreement mistake
countryside
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 more benefits, considering the available area and
traffic
Use synonyms
 management. On one hand, living in
cities
Use synonyms
become
Verb problem
has become
show examples
 an essential solution to solve human movement.
However
Linking Words
,
cities
Use synonyms
 have a huge number of
people
Use synonyms
or
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 over
populated
Verb problem
overpopulated
show examples
, so
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 will face difficulties
to manage
Change preposition
in managing
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the more
persons
Check wording
people
show examples
cities
Use synonyms
 have, it will need significant
transportion
Correct your spelling
transportation
 infrastructure services,
such
Linking Words
 as
road
Fix the agreement mistake
roads
show examples
, train
station
Fix the agreement mistake
stations
show examples
, and
airport
Fix the agreement mistake
airports
show examples
,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 will result
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 budget needed. Jakarta,
for example
Linking Words
, has to construct various
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of
transportation
Use synonyms
 means, because
people
Use synonyms
 live in scattered
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 that can only
accessed
Verb problem
be accessed
show examples
 by particular vehicles.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, rural areas have vast vacant land which
will
Verb problem
is
show examples
 easy to design and manage.
Countryside
Correct article usage
The countryside
show examples
 has a small number of
people
Use synonyms
, so it will be easier to manage.
Moreover
Linking Words
, one should consider an extra benefit when
contruct
Correct your spelling
constructing
transportation
Use synonyms
 in rural
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
, because
that
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
 services will have beautiful
sceneries
Fix the agreement mistake
scenery
show examples
. The toll in Bali,
for instance
Linking Words
, runs for five kilometres above the sea that
cut
Wrong verb form
cutting
show examples
 down the trip time to the airport. Eventually,
people
Use synonyms
 will not only solve the
traffic
Use synonyms
 and
transportation
Use synonyms
 issues, but
also
Linking Words
 feel excitement during their journeys.
To conclude
Linking Words
, some experts may align with the idea of how
people
Use synonyms
to transport
Verb problem
travel
show examples
 and
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
traffic
Use synonyms
, by
relying
Verb problem
referring
show examples
 to
Use synonyms
cities
Fix the agreement mistake
city
show examples
 life,
instead
Linking Words
 of living
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 notion because there are more advantages in
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
 that will support the solutions
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
traffic
Use synonyms
 and
transportation
Use synonyms
 problems.

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structure
Plan first. State your view in one line at the start. Then give two or three ideas and a short example for each.
coherence
Use simple link words to show idea changes. For example: but, also, and, however, in addition, for example.
coherence
Make your main idea clear in every paragraph. Stick to one idea per paragraph and end with a sentence that re-states the view.
task
Give more clear facts or data to back up your claim. Each idea should have a example from real life.
grammar
Watch spelling and word form. Some phrases are not clear. Use simple, easy words.
task
Use better topic and sum up in the end. The conclusion should say your view and why.
content
Clear view and position on the topic.
content
Some real examples used (Jakarta, Bali).
structure
Paragraphs show an attempt of structure with intro, body, and conclusion.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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