Some people say that sport is very important for a nation's development, while others believe that sport is no more than a leisure time activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some authorities argue that people should regard
sports
Use synonyms
as
necessary
Correct article usage
a necessary
show examples
factors
Fix the agreement mistake
factor
show examples
for developing a country,
while
Linking Words
others disagree with
this
Linking Words
.
This
Linking Words
essay will suggest
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
how
Use synonyms
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
events
Use synonyms
bring positive economic effects to countries,
then
Linking Words
demonstrate that there are more serious problems to concentrate
, but
Change preposition
on, but
show examples
it doesn't mean
sports
Use synonyms
need to be ignored. Most big
Use synonyms
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
events
Use synonyms
cause
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economic growth in various
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
essay agrees with
this
Linking Words
, because
one
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
Use synonyms
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
game leads
multiple
Change preposition
to multiple
show examples
economic benefits. First of all, the employment rate is expected to increase, because it needs numerous
staffs
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staff
show examples
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, a variety of companies put their investment in
sports
Use synonyms
games, which helps the
Use synonyms
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
industry to grow.
Finally
Linking Words
, the flow of money is more activated
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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when audiences purchase tickets,
marchandises
Correct your spelling
merchandise
or snacks.
For example
Linking Words
,
Melbourne
Correct article usage
the Melbourne
show examples
Cup is the biggest horse race in the world, which makes 50% of annual profits in Australia. Those opposed to
this
Linking Words
say that there are other issues to focus on for developing a country. They insist that more fundamental problems, namely inequality, the low employment rate and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
environmental degradation, should be resolved before considering
sports
Use synonyms
events
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
essay disagrees with
this
Linking Words
, because those problems are relevant
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
sport
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is possible to fix them
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
while
Linking Words
chasing
Use synonyms
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
events
Use synonyms
at the same time.
For instance
Linking Words
, in muslim countries
such
Linking Words
as Iran and
Iraque
Correct your spelling
Iraq
, where gender inequality is a serious problem, muslim female sprinters took part in an
olympic
Fix capitalization
Olympic
show examples
game
with
Change preposition
while
show examples
covering up their whole bodies, which
caused
Verb problem
drew
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
attention
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
improving
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
of
mulsim
Correct your spelling
Muslim
women's lives. In conclusion, the value of
sports
Use synonyms
is not
neglectible
Correct your spelling
negligible
by other matters
beucase
Correct your spelling
because
it is totally irrelevant.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
sports
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can play a role
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
developing
country
Correct article usage
a country
show examples
by supporting economic growth.

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structure and planning
Work on a clear plan before you write. Make two or three clear points for why sport helps a country, and one clear point for why it may not be enough. Then link them with simple words.
grammar and sentence form
Use easier sentence shapes. Short, direct sentences are less error prone and fit the field task.
grammar and accuracy
Check spelling and word form. For example, change a economic growth to economic growth, merchandises to merchandise, Iraqe to Iraq, beucase to because.
task response
Make a strong, clear opinion in the last paragraph and keep it consistent with your opening view. Do not switch ideas in the end.
lexical resource
Use examples that are easy to verify and explain how they show the point. Avoid facts that look made up or unclear.
content
The essay tries to discuss both sides of the issue.
content
There is an attempt to give an example from a real event (Melbourne Cup).
task achievement
There is a clear attempt to present an opinion.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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