IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Governments spend an enormous amount of money on renovations of old buildings in large cities. Some believe that this money can be better spent on building new houses and developing roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The government spent a huge amount of
tax payers
Use the right word
taxpayers
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 money on the rehabilitation and restoration of old constructions like public
buildings
Use synonyms
 in large cities. Several people argue that it can be utilised in a more significant way in constructing new houses and developing roads. I partially agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement. My opinion will be discussed in the ensuing paragraph. On the one hand, people believe that seepage problems in
buildings
Use synonyms
 often cause many other issues , like a reduction in the paint quality, the development of cracks, which cannot be rectified. For that reason, it is better to invest all that money in developing roads, new
buildings
Use synonyms
 like hospitals, schools, and libraries. They all require a huge initial investment, but there is zero
maintenance
Use synonyms
 cost on
such
Linking Words
 new structures once
are
Correct pronoun usage
they are
show examples
 done.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are a number of reasons behind the spending. The government allocates a portion of the budget for
maintenance
Use synonyms
 for public
buildings
Use synonyms
 , thinking that
instead
Linking Words
 of extravagant money spending to build new
buildings
Use synonyms
, regular
maintenance
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 can ensure the long life of the structures. And
also
Linking Words
, there are many problems arising for the construction of new
buildings
Use synonyms
 in a compact city , like the shifting of employees in case of office
buildings
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 and the shifting of patients in case of hospital
buildings
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it helps local contractors to take part in
maintenance
Use synonyms
 works or restoration works. In conclusion, the government should spend carefully by evaluating site conditions and
ensure
Wrong verb form
ensuring
show examples
 that the work can be carried out in the best possible manner for the betterment of society.

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clarity
State your view clearly in the intro and again in the end.
structure
Put 2-3 clear ideas in order and link them with simple words.
content
Give more true facts or simple ideas to back your points, and relate them to the task.
grammar
Check grammar and use short, plain lines.
style
Do not make long, hard sentences; keep short and clear.
content
You show a view of partial agreement.
content
You mention real examples like hospitals and schools.
structure
There is an intro and a conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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