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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

These days, more people are going to university than in the past. They start work later in life and with higher qualifications. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this situation?

In
this
Linking Words
 contemporary era, education has become an incredibly requirement in order to get a better lifestyle. Nowadays, a considerably large number of individuals are enrolling in universities compared to the past. They opt to pursue higher education to become highly demanded employees in later life.
This
Linking Words
 situation has both pros and cons, which will be discussed in the ensuing paragraphs. On balance, the effects can be positive if they are really enthusiastic about the achievement. One should make a positive input and a dedication.
This
Linking Words
 is because going to
further
Linking Words
 matriculation enables learners to widen their knowledge and stimulate innovation.
Therefore
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, having an enormous amount of
skills
Use synonyms
 and information in a particular field generates greater employment opportunities.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it can offer a distinct environment in which students can foster rudimentary life
skills
Use synonyms
 by exposure to various cultures, which eventually develops communication
skills
Use synonyms
, interpersonal relationships and intellectual development.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, there are some demerits too. The foremost one is that the person has to contribute to achieving
further
Linking Words
 education, either in time or money. It can put an individual in financial constraint as he needs to pay money to pursue a degree.
Whereas
Linking Words
, if he joined the company early, he is more likely to get stable finances than if he attended a university. Meanwhile, a person can start to gain practical knowledge and experience,
later
Correct word choice
and later
show examples
on
Punctuation problem
on,
show examples
 it will make him
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
skilfull
Correct your spelling
skilled
 worker for the future. To encapsulate,
although
Linking Words
 there are several merits of enrolling
into
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a university to broaden future perspectives, knowledge and specialised
skills
Use synonyms
, there are
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 drawbacks of
this
Linking Words
phenomena
Fix the agreement mistake
phenomenon
show examples
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
finacial
Correct your spelling
financial
 burden, requirement of time and money, and early starting of
real-hand
Use the right word
real-world
show examples
 experience.

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structure
Make a clear plan. Say what are the good parts and the bad parts. Then add a short final line.
language
Use small, easy to read sentences. Keep one idea in one line. Use simple linking words to show the order and contrast.
content
Give one small example for each point so the reader can see the point well.
content
The essay gives a view of both sides.
structure
There is a closing line that sums up the view.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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