IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Science and research is increasingly funded by private companies rather than governments. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Many private firms are increasingly participating in funding and conducting scientific
research
Use synonyms
, as compared to the traditional ways of governments
Verb problem
being alone
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alone involved
Correct word order
involved alone
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 in it.
While
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 development presents some threats, there are many advantages associated with it. One of the most significant pros is with allocation of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
national funds towards
more
Correct article usage
the more
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 immediate needs of the country. With the involvement of private
companies
Use synonyms
 funding the science and
research
Use synonyms
, the
taxpayers
Check wording
taxpayers'
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 money can be dedicated towards improving the essential infrastructure
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as healthcare and education, which is relatively far more beneficial.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the national Treasury can potentially avoid incurring financial losses
due to
Linking Words
 inconclusive
research
Use synonyms
.
Conversely
Linking Words
, private
companies
Use synonyms
 are more likely to create a conducive environment to get the desired outcome, in order to earn the return on investment. A case in point is Air India, which recently underwent
privatization
Change the spelling
privatisation
show examples
 through Tata industries,
witnessed
Correct word choice
and witnessed
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 a significant success in aviation
research
Use synonyms
 in their
bio-fuel
Use the right word
biofuel
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 labs.
Although
Linking Words
 the merits
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 private
companies
Use synonyms
 investing in science and
research
Use synonyms
 are substantial, there are considerable drawbacks attributed to
this
Linking Words
 trend. Primarily,
companies
Use synonyms
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 fund a particular
research
Use synonyms
 often seem to hold their own interest above the underlying cause of scientific innovation.
This
Linking Words
 is exemplified by a prominent case of OpenAI - the firm that pioneered generative AI technology,
who
Fix the agreement mistake
which
show examples
 shifted
their
Fix the agreement mistake
its
show examples
 operation from non-profit to a for-profit
organization
Change the spelling
organisation
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 after achieving
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
massive success in AI
research
Use synonyms
 and development. Despite
this
Linking Words
, the outcome that they produced after investing in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
science has
benefitted
Use the right word
benefited
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humanity holistically. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 there are some disadvantages of having private
firm's
Check wording
firms'
show examples
 involvement in R&D, I think these are meagre compared to the overarching benefits to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humanity.

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improvement
Make your main points clear in each paragraph. Start with a short claim and then add 1 or 2 examples.
improvement
Use simple linking words to connect ideas (for example: also, however, then, but). Use clear paragraphs to show ideas in order.
improvement
Show both good and bad effects more evenly, and finish with a clear view that matches your opening claim.
content
Clear stance on the issue.
content
Examples are used to show points.
structure
Effort to weigh pros and cons.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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