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Writing Samples
Band 4

With the rise of remote work and global interconnectedness, the concept of national identity is evolving. Some believe that increased interaction with other cultures weakens national pride and traditions, while others argue that it enriches understanding and fosters a more inclusive global community. Discuss both these viewpoints and offer your opinion on the future of national identity in a globalized world.

Working remotely and global interconnection have risen significantly, and
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 influencing national identity. It is argued that interacting with different cultures
subsides
Verb problem
sustains
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 national pride and traditions.
However
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, others think of it as an opportunity to explore new communities worldwide. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument and share my thoughts about
this
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 topic.
To begin
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 with, working remotely is a gateway to multiple opportunities for individuals because it allows
people
Use synonyms
 to work from home.
As a result
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,
people
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 can not only spend more time with their family and friends but
also
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 save their
traveling
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travelling
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 time, which they can invest in themselves to focus on their fitness or skill development.
Thus
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, it is beneficial to both
employer
Correct article usage
the employer
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 and
worker
Correct article usage
the worker
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.
Additionally
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,
people
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 interacting with different cultures and languages enhance their communication and interpersonal skills, making them more confident and self-dependent.
For example
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, individuals working remotely might know more than one language than others.
Furthermore
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, salaries for remote jobs are quite high, so it grants more financial stability.
However
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, one of the prime drawbacks of working online is that it has a significant impact on personal
behavior
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behaviour
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 and social life. As
people
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 work remotely with colleagues from different countries, they often adopt very different habits from them, because
people
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 are easily influenced by others.
Thus
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, these changes are often shown in public and might create awkward situations for other locals.
For instance
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, hugging someone in a Western country is considered showing appreciation;
however
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, it is not the same
for
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in
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 some South Asian countries.
Furthermore
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, working remotely often leads to timing issues, as some individuals might work for a company
from
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in
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 a different time zone,
thus
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 hampering their social activities. In conclusion, even if working remotely has several drawbacks, I consider it a great opportunity because it provides us with the chance to explore new
people
Use synonyms
 and cultures and financial stability.

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task response
Make your main point clear. The task asks about how national identity may change or stay in a global world. Start with a clear view and say what you think.
structure
Use one idea per paragraph. Begin each paragraph with a topic sentence that shows the point. This helps the reading flow.
language usage
Keep to simple and short sentences. Use easy words and link ideas with 'and', 'but', 'also'.
content
Give more clear examples and explain how they show your point about identity.
grammar
Check grammar and use correct verb form and tense.
structure
There is a clear start and end to the essay.
coherence
Some linking words help flow.
content
The idea of talking about remote work and culture is a real topic.
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