IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The money spent by governments on space program would be better spent on vital public services such as schools and hospitals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, some people believe governments should give
an
Correct article usage
apply
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extra
fund
Check wording
funding
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on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 space
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
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 to discover new
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
 and knowledge
outer
Change preposition
in outer
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 space.
However
Linking Words
, others argued the authority should spend more on vital
services
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 dan public transport. I strongly believe, retaining the essential public
services
Use synonyms
 is important for
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 because it will give more benefits
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 people.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, retaining funds
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 essential public
services
Use synonyms
 is important to reduce poverty.
Maintain
Wrong verb form
Maintaining
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Use synonyms
education
Correct article usage
an education
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 funding program will help many individuals to reach their highest
education
Use synonyms
 in the future and create
a
Correct article usage
apply
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better opportunities to become
a
Correct article usage
apply
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wealthy in the future.
For example
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 spend more than 30 per cent of their national fund to support
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education
Use synonyms
from
Change preposition
at
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 every
stages
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stage
show examples
 in Finland
from
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since
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early
Correct article usage
the early
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2000
Correct your spelling
2000s
.
in
Fix capitalization
In
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 2024,
national
Correct article usage
the national
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 GDP of Finland increased almost three times and
finland
Fix capitalization
Finland
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awarded
Verb problem
was awarded
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 as the most educated country worldwide.
Secondly
Linking Words
, extra funds for public transportation will give another
advantages
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advantage
show examples
 for
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
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.
it
Fix capitalization
It
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 can enhance the connectivity and reduce the transportation cost. More people will save their money and effortlessly make a movement to create a better opportunity in business or
education
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, Indonesia spend more than 400 billion dollars to develop
tol
Correct your spelling
toll
road
Fix the agreement mistake
roads
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 from western to eastern
java
Fix capitalization
Java
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,
this
Linking Words
acts create
Correct subject-verb agreement
act creates
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an
Correct article usage
apply
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economic growth and
assist
Correct subject-verb agreement
assists
show examples
 many local businesses to elevate their networks. In conclusion,
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should focus on essential
services
Use synonyms
 for
economical
Correct word choice
economic
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 opportunities and to reduce major issues
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 society.
In addition
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 act is beneficial for socio-economic values for
any
Correct determiner usage
all
show examples
 countries around the world.

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structure
Make a clear plan. Start with a line that shows your view. Then add 2 or 3 clear reasons.
grammar
Use short, simple sentence. Break long sentence into small bits.
organization
Each paragraph should have one main idea. Use a simple topic sentence.
content
Give easy and true examples that fit the point. Check facts if you can.
language
Check spelling and word form at the end.
task
You show a clear view on the topic.
development
You try to use example to back up a point.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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