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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

TOPIC 18: Some people think that the main purpose of schools is to turn children into good citizens and workers, rather than to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people believe that the primary purpose of
schools
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 is to prepare young people for the workforce and help them become productive citizens.
However
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, I strongly disagree with
this
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 idea. I believe that the
role
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 of
schools
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 extends far beyond employment preparation, as they
also
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 contribute significantly to students’ personal development.
This
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 essay will outline the reasons why the educational system plays a much broader
role
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 than simply training
future
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 workers.
Firstly
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, children often pass the journey at
school
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 , it's a place for discovery, learn and building a strong personality with a crucial
role
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 in exploration.Taking the example of Michael Jordan, a Legend of all
-
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apply
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time in basketball,his talent was discovered in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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school
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 during a physical class .
School
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 teachers play a vital
role
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 in exploring the hidden talents of young people by watching and observing them during all classes. They will surely claim that many of them have a talent that needs to be developed, which is more important than just pushing them to become typical citizens in the
future
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 .
Moreover
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, innovation is not related to a specific age group
,
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;
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it can be made by a scientist
as well as
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 by a young child.Taking the example of the famous physician Albert Eineshtein , he started realising and observing physics theories since he was 13 years old , which is a masterpiece.
School
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 teachers should encourage children to innovate and think critically .
In addition
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, a generation with strong personal characters will lead the country to grow and climb through the years. In conclusion,
although
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schools
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 play an essential
role
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 in providing academic knowledge and preparing students for
future
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 employment, their contribution to personal growth is equally important. By helping children discover their talents, develop critical thinking, and build strong personalities,
schools
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 create independent and capable individuals who can face
future
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 challenges with confidence.

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structure
Plan your ideas before you write. Put one main idea in each paragraph.
structure
Use clear links to show how a point supports your view. Use simple links like for example, also, but.
language
Keep sentences short. Avoid long, ran on lines. Try one idea per sentence.
content
Check facts and spellings. Use the right names and dates.
structure
You show a clear view from the start.
content
You use examples to back your view.
structure
There is an introduction and a conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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