IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world. Do you think that benefits of tourism outweight its drawbacks?

In recent times,
tourists
Use synonyms
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 several significant impacts on countries , which can cause a good income , or at the same time, it can be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly.
This
Linking Words
 shift in perspective can impact many individuals in different ways.
This
Linking Words
 essay argues that
while
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 situation may put pressure on people's lives, it presents two contrasting views; ultimately, I think that leads to more advantages than disadvantages. On the one hand, supporters of the idea against tourism have specific reasons.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
 has strong sources of income
besides
Linking Words
tourists
Use synonyms
 ,
such
Linking Words
 as taxes, oil and natural resource revenues, and
government
Use synonyms
 investment. We cannot deny that
tourists
Use synonyms
 increase income, but they can cause a lot of problems.
For example
Linking Words
, pollution can be caused by throwing rubbish in public places, which leads to air and water pollution.
In addition
Linking Words
, they can damage natural areas by causing overcrowding and not taking care of cleanliness.
However
Linking Words
, I think
this
Linking Words
 issue can be controlled by the
government
Use synonyms
 by putting rules and fees.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are strong reasons that support the importance of tourism. The primary reason is that
tourists
Use synonyms
 boost the economy by spending money on hotels, restaurants and local shops, which can have a positive effect on the
government
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they promote cultural exchange and help people learn about different traditions and lifestyles , which
causes
Verb problem
brings
show examples
 joy
among
Change preposition
to
show examples
 people. In conclusion, tourism has a negative impact on both governments and countries , but I think if it is controlled and planned in a good way, fears and concerns will be reduced.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
Fix grammar and verb form. Write 'tourists have' not 'tourists has'.
coherence
Make clear topic sentences. Start each part with a clear main point.
content
Give one or two simple examples to prove a point.
structure
Be clear about your view later in the essay. If you say 'more advantages', show this in the last line.
editing
Check punctuation and spaces around commas.
content
The essay tries to cover both sides of the issue.
coherence
It uses 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' to show contrasts.
content
There are ideas on money, jobs, and culture in tourism.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sustainable tourism
  • Ecotourism
  • Heritage sites
  • Cultural heritage
  • Tourism revenue
  • Environmental conservation
  • Eco-friendly
  • Tourist influx
  • Local economy
  • Diversification
  • Commercialization
  • Authenticity
  • Displacement
  • Gentrification
  • Carrying capacity
  • Hospitality industry
What to do next:
Look at other essays: