a big salary is more important than job satiscafion , to what extend do you agree or disagree

its
Use the right word
It's
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agrued
Correct your spelling
argued
that a huge income is more essential than
occupation
Replace the word
occupational
show examples
satiscaction
Correct your spelling
satisfaction
.
This
Linking Words
essay totally disagrees with
this
Linking Words
statement. I
belive
Use the right word
believe
show examples
that
empolyers
Correct your spelling
employers
should give
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
large share of importance to job
satiscaction
Correct your spelling
satisfaction
rather than
incomes
Fix the agreement mistake
income
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. A person cannot be productive or innovative without being in their comfort zone.
However
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, many people nowadays work at least eight hours a day. How can they remain productive if they are not satisfied with their occupation, even when they receive a high salary?
For example
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, factory workers often spend long hours on repetitive tasks, and without any sense of attachment or passion for their job, a high income does not necessarily lead to motivation or productivity.
Therefore
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, people should focus on turning their workplace into a comfort zone in order to escape routine and reduce daily stress, which is important for mental health .
Moreover
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, one’s job is often a major source of personal pride.Many adults use their jobs as a source of describing themselves ,especially
well educated
Use the right word
well-educated
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ones.By asking a pilot,
for example
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,he will not introduce himself by how much he
earn
Correct subject-verb agreement
earns
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, he will probably
starts
Correct subject-verb agreement
start
show examples
listing his
achivements
Correct your spelling
achievements
, which
explain
Correct subject-verb agreement
explains
show examples
that jobs are used to be a proof of
sucess
Correct your spelling
success
in life ,not
for
Change preposition
apply
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just
earn
Verb problem
to earn
show examples
money
in
Change preposition
at
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the
last
Linking Words
of each month.
To conclude
Linking Words
, it is true that a high salary attracts people and helps them secure their family’s needs.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, a large income is only one of many sources of motivation. Adults should be satisfied with their positions in order to maintain productivity and protect their mental health.

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structure
Make one clear main idea for each paragraph, and keep each idea in one line.
content
Link your ideas to the proof. Add a short sentence that shows why the example matters.
language
Fix spelling and grammar. Read aloud or use a tool to check.
coherence
Use simple linking words like 'also', 'therefore', 'but' to show how ideas fit.
content
The view is clear and you say no to the idea that money is the main thing.
structure
You use examples to back up your points.
logic
The plan has two body parts that show why job satisfaction can help work.
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