IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people feel that entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians or sports stars are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? I’m in agreement with this opinion. Low responsibilities Which other types of job should be highly paid? Vital contribution- doctors , support the human development, such as teachers.

In
this
Linking Words
 modern era, professions like singers, directors and sports persons
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
earn more money
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 I
am
Verb problem
apply
show examples
toally
Correct your spelling
totally
agreed
Wrong verb form
agree
show examples
 on
this
Linking Words
.
However
Linking Words
,
occupations
Punctuation problem
occupations,
show examples
 be it medical staff and tutors payment should not be overlooked as they
contributes
Correct subject-verb agreement
contribute
show examples
 too much towards the growth of the individuals.
This
Linking Words
esssay
Correct your spelling
essay
 will
dissuss
Correct your spelling
discuss
 the importance of school instructors and doctors in
one
Use synonyms
's life. On the
one
Use synonyms
 side,
one
Use synonyms
 of the substantial
teacher's
Check wording
teachers'
show examples
role
Fix the agreement mistake
roles
show examples
 in the
students
Check wording
students'
show examples
 life is that they act as a second guardian, they could give better instructions to learners to become responsible citizens. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
instance
in
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 States
people
Punctuation problem
, people
show examples
 are successful and getting higher education because teachers are highly educated in the field of science and
engineer
Replace the word
engineering
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 is leading to the enhancement of
nations's
Check wording
nations'
show examples
 development
as well as
Linking Words
betterment of the
Correct word order
the betterment of
show examples
 society. Since medical staff could be
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 significant asset of a country,
emphasizing
Change the spelling
emphasising
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
increment
Check wording
increase
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the doctor's pay
instead
Linking Words
 of giving motivation towards
entertainment
Correct article usage
the entertainment
show examples
 industry would be more beneficial. To cite an example, in
Japan
Add a comma
Japan,
show examples
heathcare
Correct your spelling
healthcare
 workers are paid high wages, which encourages them to get involved in
medical
Correct article usage
the medical
show examples
 field
as compare
Change preposition
compared
show examples
 to other sectors.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
entertainment
Correct article usage
the entertainment
show examples
 industry can generate multiple complications for individuals.
For instance
Linking Words
,
india's
Fix capitalization
India's
show examples
one
Use synonyms
 of the famous singers Honey
Singh
Check wording
Singh's
show examples
 popularity
got
Verb problem
reached
show examples
 on
the peak in
Correct word order
peak in the
show examples
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 2016-2018, he
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
Correct article usage
a billionare
show examples
billionare
Correct your spelling
billionaire
 in those couple of years.
However
Linking Words
, he
vanised
Correct your spelling
vanished
 everything next year because of
over usage
Correct your spelling
overusage
 of finances in drugs.
Besides
Linking Words
 that, mostly
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
 get distracted
fron
Correct your spelling
from
 the actual path when they get excessive money
beyonds
Correct your spelling
beyond
 the expectations.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
Correct pronoun usage
it most
show examples
most prudent is
Correct word order
is most prudent
show examples
 that individuals should be paid more who works
in
Change preposition
so
show examples
 the field of teching and and medical department thereby they would have more courage to
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
participation
Replace the word
participate
show examples
 rather
singing
Wrong verb form
than sing
show examples
 or
acting
Wrong verb form
act
show examples
.

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task response
Be clear. Start with a direct answer to the question. Use one line that says you agree or disagree.
structure
Make each paragraph have one main idea. Use a short topic sentence at the start of each paragraph.
coherence
Link ideas with simple words like and, but, also, for example so the text flows better.
content
Give only true and easy examples. Explain how they show your point.
grammar
Check spelling and grammar. Small errors can hide your true meaning.
content
Clear view is shown and the topic is kept in mind.
structure
There is a simple two‑part structure (intro, body, conclusion).
coherence
Some linking words are used to connect ideas.
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