IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The number of employees working from home with the help of technology has grown in many countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Nowadays, after COVID-19, in many
countries
Add a comma
countries,
show examples
 hybrid offices
became
Wrong verb form
have become
show examples
 popular among IT workers.
This
Linking Words
 change has brought pros
as well as
Linking Words
 cons to employees and employers. Both the positive and negative
consequances
Correct your spelling
consequences
 are
discussesd
Correct your spelling
discussed
further
Linking Words
 in
this
Linking Words
 essay.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the benefits of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
distance working. The main advantage is
Correct word choice
that worker
show examples
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
 can manage
work
Use synonyms
-life balance easily. Working from
home
Use synonyms
 can allow some time
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the employee to look after small responsibilities.
For instance
Linking Words
,
instead
Linking Words
 of commuting to the office,
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
 can use that time for dropping children
to
Change preposition
off
show examples
 the school.
Additionally
Linking Words
, hybrid
work
Use synonyms
 enables a person to keep
eye
Correct article usage
an eye
show examples
 on
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
show examples
 and
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
. They do not need to spend money
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 hiring care
giver
Use the right word
caregiver
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, employees do not feel pressure
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
working
Correct article usage
the working
show examples
 environment. Less
Use synonyms
work related
Use the right word
work-related
show examples
 stress can improve
person's
Correct article usage
a person's
show examples
 productivity.
Moreover
Linking Words
, employers
also
Linking Words
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
benefited
Wrong verb form
benefit
show examples
 through saving money. They do not need to spend on offices and infrastructures to run
Correct article usage
a bussiness
show examples
bussiness
Correct your spelling
business
.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 trend brought some adverse
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
 with it.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
 can get distracted easily
while
Linking Words
 working from
home
Use synonyms
.
Responsibilies
Correct your spelling
Responsibilities
 of
Use synonyms
home
Correct article usage
the home
show examples
 and interference of family
mambers
Correct your spelling
members
 can affect
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
productivity.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it could increase
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
expenses,
for example
Linking Words
,
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 to install
fast speed
Use the right word
fast-speed
show examples
 wifi networks or expensive computers and laptops at
the house
Check wording
home
show examples
 in order to
work
Use synonyms
 from
home
Use synonyms
. The final drawback is
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of communication. Sometimes employees of the one company do not know each other properly.
Use the right word
Hence
show examples
Hance
Punctuation problem
Hance,
show examples
 rare chances of interaction can affect deadlines and
goal-achievements
Use the right word
goal achievement
show examples
.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 good
work
Use synonyms
-life balance and less
Use synonyms
work related
Use the right word
work-related
show examples
 stress,
hybrid
Correct article usage
the hybrid
show examples
 working system has some negative
consequances
Correct your spelling
consequences
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the company's production.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Make a clear start and end. Put one idea in each paragraph and say how it helps.
coherence
Use easy linking words like also, but, for example to connect ideas.
linguistic
Spell and use easy words. A few words are hard and can be wrong.
content
Add more strong examples for each point. The ones you have are good but need more detail.
task response
Try to say more about both sides and finish with your own view.
content
The essay shows both sides of the topic.
structure
There is an introduction and a conclusion.
content
Some real life examples are given.
style
The writing is easy to read in some parts.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: