IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that directors of large organizations receive much higher salaries than ordinary workers. Some think this high income is necessary, while others believe it is unfair.

There is an ongoing debate about
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 whether it is normal for heads of companies to have a salary which seems disproportionate or
it
Correct word choice
if it
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 is not fair. I strongly believe that it is transparent, since they carry enormous responsibility and pressure,
while
Linking Words
 the
labor
Change the spelling
labour
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 of employees is
also
Linking Words
 indispensable in the development of the
company
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, the wage differentiation between directors and
workers
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 is noticeable, as they are the brain of the
company
Use synonyms
,
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;
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 every decision they make
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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huge
Correct article usage
a huge
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 influence on the
company
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. Since their job involves
the
Correct article usage
apply
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control over the
company
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 means the salary distribution, encouraging employees and going for anything for the
company
Use synonyms
 to stand out positively. Their duty can seem not as arduous as it is
in
Change preposition
for
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workers
Use synonyms
, as in
majority of the
Correct word order
the majority of
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 substantial
companies
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companies,
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workers
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 have long working hours and
always the process
Correct word order
the process always
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have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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the
Correct article usage
an
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 influence on the health of people
regardless
Punctuation problem
, regardless
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 of their type of
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
, whether it determines physical strengths or programming skills. The reason for it is that their job should be in secret
Correct word choice
so as to
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to not
Correct word order
not to
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 transform the gained success into monkey business.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in every
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company
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company,
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 the significance of the ordinary
workers
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 is inevitable. As it was mentioned, the heads are the brain of the
company
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,
while
Linking Words
 the employees are the feet and arms of it. Their
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 is to make the imaginary of the bosses real
which
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, which
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 is extremely important
,
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;
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 they make the real steps to the direction of well-being.
To conclude
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,
although
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workers
Use synonyms
 work incessantly and their significance cannot be replaced, the heads are
also
Linking Words
 too important.
While
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 the
workers
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 are
the
Correct article usage
a
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 group of people,
head
Correct article usage
the head
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 is alone
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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this
Linking Words
 factor is a reason for them to have a much greater salary. I found it fair.

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structure
Make your view clear in the first line and say it again at the end.
language
Many parts are hard to read. Break long ideas into short sentences.
content
Give one or two plain examples from work life to show your point.
coherence
Use linking words to show how ideas go with each other.
language
Check spelling and grammar to fix small mistakes.
content
You tell your view in a clear way.
structure
You use 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' to show two sides.
structure
The essay has a plan and a loose order.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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