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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think traditional games are better than modern games in helping children develop their abilities. To what extent do you agree?

The topic of whether traditional
games
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 have outweighed modern
games
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 in enhancing the development of
kids
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' skillsets has been an ongoing debate. I personally believe that both traditional and modern amusement are important for
children
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 to develop their abilities in different ways. On the one hand, traditional
games
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 often encourage
kids
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 to interact with each other,
thus
Linking Words
 improving physical health and communication skills. Jump rope,
for example
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, demands a clever movement of the whole body, and has positive impacts on
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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weight control and heart rate. In many more complicated variations of jump rope,
such
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 as several
kids
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 joining the game in the same round, they must
remain
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maintain
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 a clear communication flow among members to negotiate and define the optimal strategy to achieve more and more steps. Plus, when playing with each other, there will be a lot of laughter and fun among
kids
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,
thus
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 creating a foundation for pure friendships.
On the other hand
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, modern
games
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, which are often labelled as "addictive", have their own benefits for
children
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 in different ways. Computer
games
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,
for instance
Linking Words
, are proven to improve
kids
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' strategic thinking through requiring them to complete many levels; the higher the level is, the more complex the missions are. Computer
games
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also
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 offer
children
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 a sense of new technologies at an early age, which is essential in
this
Linking Words
 digital world.
Therefore
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, modern
games
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 are able to contribute to
kids
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' development by
progressing
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developing
show examples
 a sharp mind and
an
Verb problem
providing an
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 early exposure to
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 edge of technology. In conclusion, both traditional and modern
games
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 offer different advantages to
kids
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 in their journey to develop their abilities. These two types of
games
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 should be balanced
,
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apply
show examples
 and
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
monitored by adults to help
children
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 grow well in a safe environment.

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task response
State your full view at the start and keep it in mind through the essay.
task response
Be clear and short about each idea. Use simple facts and clear examples.
grammar
Keep sentences short. Use one idea in one sentence.
coherence
Use simple link words to show order and logic, like first, also, but, so.
coherence
Break long sentences into two parts to avoid long feel.
grammar
Check punctuation to join ideas well.
structure
The essay has a clear shape with intro, body, and conclusion.
content
It shows a balanced view on both sides.
content
It uses real examples to back up ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • traditional
  • modern
  • games
  • children
  • develop
  • abilities
  • physical
  • activity
  • outdoor
  • play
  • social
  • skills
  • teamwork
  • sharing
  • understand
  • focus
  • strategy
  • problem-solving
  • low-pressure
  • interaction
  • communication
  • emotional
  • intelligence
  • online
  • critical
  • thinking
  • creativity
  • limit
  • balance
  • development
  • promote
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