IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

There have been some problems with the public transport you use to commute daily. Write a letter to the manager of the public transport company. In your letter: describe the problems explain how these problems are affecting you and others suggest what could be done about it

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with the public transport service in our city. I would greatly appreciate
if
Correct pronoun usage
it if
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 you consider these problems for making certain improvements. It is highly important to fix the buses' time schedules. Buses are late for a maximum of one hour almost every day ,
while
Linking Words
 it shows different times on the provided bus schedules to the public.
Moreover
Linking Words
, having fewer transport services creates a crowd in a single bus , which makes
inconvenient
Correct pronoun usage
it inconvenient
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 for everyone to travel. These issues cause delays
to
Change preposition
in
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 our work every day and affect our work. A number of students and workers are disappointed because they only rely on the bus services to go to their destinations. They often get late since they are not able to figure out the exact timings to arrive on time. I would be highly grateful to you if you
mention
Verb problem
could mention
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timings
Correct article usage
the timings
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 for all buses so everyone would be aware. Another thing is that if you introduce more shuttles in our area so people can travel easily without facing crowd issues. Thank you very much for your time and consideration. I look forward to your prompt response. Yours sincerely, Kunal

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task
Plan the letter in order: first the problem, then how it hits you, then a fix. Keep one idea in each part.
coherence
Be sure to use one idea per paragraph. Put each idea in a new paragraph.
coherence
Use link words like 'also' or 'but' to show how ideas are tied.
content
Give exact examples or numbers, like the time or how many buses run.
tone
Keep a polite and formal tone all through the letter.
style
Check the greeting and closing: start with 'Dear Sir or Madam,' and end with 'Yours sincerely,'.
content
Clear aim at the start.
tone
Polite and respectful tone.
content
Covers problem, effect, and fix.
structure
Has a proper closing request for reply.
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