IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

the chart below shows how frequently people in usa ate in fastfood restuarants between 2003 and 2013. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

the chart below shows how frequently people in usa ate in fastfood restuarants between 2003 and 2013. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
The bar chart illustrates information about the frequency of fast
food
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
 in USA
restuarants
Correct your spelling
restaurants
 from 2003-2013.
Overall
Linking Words
, in
both
Correct determiner usage
all
show examples
 three periods,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 minority of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 ate fast
food
Use synonyms
 every day. And from 2003 to
2006
Punctuation problem
2006,
show examples
 most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 ate fast
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
 once a week
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
 in 2013,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 ate fast
food
Use synonyms
 once or twice a month. As can be seen from the diagram, in 2003, the number of
people
Use synonyms
 eating fast
food
Use synonyms
eavey
Correct your spelling
every
 day was less than 5% and it decreased slightly to near 3% in 2006 and
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 steady in 2013.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the number of
people
Use synonyms
 consuming fast
food
Use synonyms
 several times a week
rised
Correct your spelling
rose
 from almost 17% to 20% in 2013 and declined to less than its initial amount in 2013.
Similarly
Linking Words
, in
once
Rephrase
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
week
Use the right word
once-a-week
show examples
consumption
Use synonyms
 group, we
witnesse
Correct your spelling
witnessed
 the same trend and fast
food
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
 grew from
neasrly
Correct your spelling
nearly
 31% to almost 33% in 2006 and fell to almost 27% by the end of the period.
In contrast
Linking Words
, those consuming once or twice a month experienced
Correct article usage
a compeletely
show examples
compeletely
Correct your spelling
completely
 different trend. Fast
food
Use synonyms
 eating
initially
Linking Words
 stood at 30% and declined to 25% in 2006.
Then
Linking Words
 it rose noticeably to almost 33% in 2013.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the next group, with fast
food
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
 of
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 times a year, its percentage
increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
 from almost 13% in 2003 to 15% in 2006 and remained steady in 2013.
Finally
Linking Words
, the proportion of those who never eat fast
food
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 decreased from 5% to almost 4% in
2006
Punctuation problem
2006,
show examples
 with no change in 2013.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words food, consumption, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 6 times.
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