IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The two pie charts illustrate statistics of employment patterns in United Kingdom in 1992.

The pie charts provide key information about a study that shows statistics of employment
tendency
Check wording
trends
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 in the UK during 1992. The units are measured in percentage.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graphs that clerical ar related
represent
Check wording
jobs represent
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 the highest proportion of female
working there
Verb problem
workers
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, and craft or similar jobs had a significant
of
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proportion of
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 male workers.
In addition
Linking Words
, General labourers had the lowest ratios of both women and men as workers,
whereas
Linking Words
 the percentage of individuals working in clerical and other non-manual is equivalent.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown,
to begin
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 with, more than a third of women started working in Clerical or related fields in 1992. Craft or similar field
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 had 27 % of females .
Moreover
Linking Words
, only under a tenth of women in
other
Correct article usage
the other
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 non-manual sector participate. In terms of males,
managerial
Replace the word
management
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 represented a significant sector, with 36% people, and less than a quarter shared in other manual
sector
Fix the agreement mistake
sectors
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
, general labourers, clerical, and other non-manual
experienced
Check wording
workers experienced
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 a considerable decline
of
Change preposition
in
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employess
Correct your spelling
employment
.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: The word "represent" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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