IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The charts gives information about the rate of electrical using for different purposes and how much time spent by the owner of houses in the year 1920 to 2019 in a country.

The data shows the usage of three electrical gadgets in people’s homes and the time spent doing the chores.
Overall
Linking Words
, when the percentage of households with appliances increased, the
hours
Use synonyms
 of
doing
Verb problem
apply
show examples
work at home reduced significantly. Homes with refrigerators grew dramatically. They started at approximately 5% in 1920 and shot to 90% in
1960
Punctuation problem
1960,
show examples
then
Linking Words
 reached 100% in 1980 and remained constant until the end of
period
Correct article usage
the period
show examples
 under review. Households with vacuum cleaners
also
Linking Words
 increased. They were 30% of people with
this
Linking Words
 appliance at the beginning of 1920.
However
Linking Words
, the figure rose drastically and stood at 100 % in 2000. The percentage of people with washing machines was the highest in 1920 (with 40%)
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 ended up the lowest
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 just about 73%. The time people spent doing
house work
Use the right word
housework
show examples
 dropped from 50
hours
Use synonyms
 weekly in 1920 to 20
hours
Use synonyms
 in 1960. It continued falling for the next three decades until it reached 10
hours
Use synonyms
 in 2019.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Electricity consumption
  • Household activities
  • Technological advancements
  • Energy efficiency
  • Appliance usage
  • Lifestyle changes
  • Societal shifts
  • Economic factors
  • Historical data
  • Energy consumption patterns
  • Residential design
  • Electrical equipment
  • Time spent
  • Adoption
  • Correlation
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