IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

in many countries, primary and secondary schools close for two months or more in the summer holidays. what is the value in long school holidays? what are arguments in favour of shorter school holidays?

In many parts of the world, the summer break extends to two months or more,which
allow
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
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 students to take
rest
Correct article usage
a rest
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 from studying and
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
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 them the
opportunitiy
Correct your spelling
opportunity
 to try something away from regular education at school, like travelling abroad or enrolling in various summer activities.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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 there is debate about
this
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 as some people prefer shorter holidays.
Use synonyms
One
Use the right word
On
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Use synonyms
one
Correct article usage
the one
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 hand,
long
Correct article usage
a long
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 holiday has
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of advantages for students and their families.
While
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 some people enjoy the long holiday abroad, others find it useful to stay and engage in a
varity
Correct your spelling
variety
 of activities like different sports or learning new skills
such
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 as drawing, sewing or planting.
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for
Fix capitalization
For
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 instance, in my
country
Punctuation problem
country,
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 Saudi Arabia, the
offical
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official
 summer break is about 3 months
at the end
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each
Change preposition
of each
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 year. My parent and
i
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I
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 used to plan for travelling to a new country every year and stay there
around
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for
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 more than two months. It used to be a really wonderful
experiance
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experience
, my father
rent
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rented
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 a house each
time
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 as we decided to stay for
long
Correct article usage
a long
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time
Use synonyms
.
Use synonyms
One
Use the right word
On
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 the other hand, even though short school holidays are more convenient for some individuals, they have
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of drawbacks. Every
time
Use synonyms
 kids go for
short
Correct article usage
a short
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 holiday,
one
Use synonyms
 or two weeks, their sleeping
schedual
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schedule
ruin
Wrong verb form
is ruined
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 and they will suffer to return to
normal
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the normal
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 school routine later on. I remember
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 read a study
puplished
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published
 in 2021 in
Austrilliea
Correct your spelling
Australia
 about the negative effects on
human
Correct article usage
the human
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 brain by changing sleeping
time
Use synonyms
 frequently, it stated that it is associated with various issues like
disoriantation
Correct your spelling
disorientation
, loss of focus and in turn reduced productivity. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
short
Punctuation problem
short,
show examples
 frequent breaks might be comfortable for part of society, longer holidays offer several advantages and benefits.

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structure
Plan: write one opening that states your view, two body paragraphs for each side, and a closing line.
coherence
Use simple links to show the flow: first, next, also, but, however, in addition, for example.
content
The essay shows the topic and gives a real example from your country.
content
It tries to cover both sides of the issue.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • long holidays
  • short holidays
  • summer break
  • rest
  • health
  • family time
  • travel
  • reading
  • learning
  • memory
  • gaps
  • exams
  • curriculum
  • planning
  • cost
  • money
  • parent
  • teacher
  • student
  • school
  • summer school
  • enrichment
  • activities
  • schedule
  • fairness
  • access
  • inequality
  • support
  • spare time
  • staggered holidays
  • intersession
  • balance
  • policy
  • example
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