IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show the percentages of men and women aged 60-64 in employment in four countries in 1970 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The picture below displays in bar graph that illustrates the percentages of
men
Use synonyms
 and women aged between 60 and 64 in employment from four different countries from 1970 to 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, the first chart shows that
men
Use synonyms
's percentage of
men
Use synonyms
 employed in specific countries.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the second picture explores the
women's percentage of
Correct word order
percentage of women's
show examples
 employment in four named nations. In the first graph, in 1974, 79% of
men
Use synonyms
 worked in
Belgium
Use synonyms
, 73% in the
USA
Use synonyms
, 85% in
Japan
Use synonyms
, and 76% in
Australia
Use synonyms
, aged between 60 and 64. But, in 2000,
this
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 number plummeted to 19% in
Belgium
Use synonyms
, 55% in the
USA
Use synonyms
, and 47% in
Australia
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 in
Japan
Use synonyms
 it dropped slightly to 73%. In the second chart, in 1974, 8% of women worked in
Belgium
Use synonyms
, 56% in the
USA
Use synonyms
, 43% in
Japan
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, 16% in
Australia
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in 2000,
this
Linking Words
 number rose slightly to 8% in
Belgium
Use synonyms
, 43% in
Japan
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 in the
USA
Use synonyms
 and
Australia
Use synonyms
 it dropped slightly to 36% and 16%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words men, belgium, usa, japan, australia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentages" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • employment rate
  • percentage
  • trend
  • significant change
  • overall employment
  • societal changes
  • economic conditions
  • government policies
  • compare
  • highlight
  • individual country analysis
  • increased/decreased
  • similarities and differences
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