IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security, while some people think that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that
permanent
Correct article usage
a permanent
show examples
job
Use synonyms
 is more important than
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Use synonyms
, but other people think that
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Use synonyms
 is more important than
job
Use synonyms
 security. In my
oppinion
Correct your spelling
opinion
,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 believe in fulfilling
job
Use synonyms
satisfactions
Fix the agreement mistake
satisfaction
show examples
 first. On one hand,
person's
Check wording
people
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 believe in
permanent
Correct article usage
a permanent
show examples
job
Use synonyms
 rather than
follows
Wrong verb form
following
show examples
 their
satisfactions
Fix the agreement mistake
satisfaction
show examples
is wanted
Wrong verb form
want
show examples
 a secure and
steadily
Replace the word
steady
show examples
 income every month.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they are just scared of facing a new recruitment
programs
Fix the agreement mistake
program
show examples
 when they resign. I suppose that
this
Linking Words
 kind of person just
want
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
show examples
 to have a
peacefull
Correct your spelling
peaceful
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
 rather than a complicated ones that require
to migrate
Wrong verb form
migrating
show examples
 from one
work-place
Use the right word
workplace
show examples
 to
the other
Use the right word
another
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they are scared of not having the same amount of
mothly
Correct your spelling
monthly
 salaries
that
Change preposition
as
show examples
 the previous ones
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 they
are
Use the right word
dare
show examples
dared
Verb problem
apply
show examples
to face
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
the risk of work rather than being comfortable with it.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, workers
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
believes
Correct subject-verb agreement
believe
show examples
 in
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Use synonyms
 tend to have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
multiple jobs throughout their career.
Thus
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
 the ambition to have a
job
Use synonyms
 that really
fit
Correct subject-verb agreement
fits
show examples
 the expectations, whether
its
Use the right word
it's
show examples
 comforting to work there or just because the office is near their home. Reacting to
this
Linking Words
, I think of having
this
Linking Words
 kind of
Use synonyms
job seeking
Use the right word
job-seeking
show examples
 journey
than
Rephrase
rather than
show examples
 just
stuck
Verb problem
being stuck
show examples
 in one working place. So, the journey to search the
satisfaction
Use synonyms
 in the
job
Use synonyms
 is
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 important thing to find.
Thats
Use the right word
That's
show examples
 why
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 I choose to be disadvantaged by always switching
Use synonyms
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 and
work-place
Use the right word
workplaces
show examples
 rather than being stuck
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the same office
desk
Check wording
apply
show examples
for years, because I can easily get
boring
Correct word choice
bored
show examples
 during work that
lasted
Wrong verb form
lasts
show examples
 9 hours a day.

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structure
Plan the essay. Start with a short intro, two clear parts on each side, then share your view and finish with a short end
organization
Use a topic sentence for each paragraph to show the point in one line
content
Give one real or simple example to back up a point
language
Check spelling and use simple sentences to avoid errors
linguistic
Use linking words to show contrast and to move from one idea to the next
content
You try to answer both views and give your own view
language
Some simple sentences give real meaning
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • job
  • work
  • happy
  • enjoy
  • like
  • feel good
  • safe
  • steady
  • money
  • pay
  • income
  • plan
  • life
  • family
  • health
  • stress
  • risk
  • grow
  • learn
  • skill
  • future
  • balance
  • choice
  • option
  • example
  • in my view
  • on the other hand
  • therefore
  • early
  • later
What to do next:
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