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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph compares the percentage of international and the percentage of UK students gaining second class degrees or better at a major UK university. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.

The bar chart illustrates the differences in the proportion of international
students
Use synonyms
 achieving Second-class degrees or higher and that of British
students
Use synonyms
 at a
UK
Use synonyms
 university in 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, the ratio of
UK
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 obtaining Second-class degrees or above exceeded
quite significantly
Correct word order
apply
show examples
that of overseas members
,
Correct word order
quite significantly, at
show examples
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 four subjects
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
related to Art and Society.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the proportion of international
students
Use synonyms
 gaining that level surpassed that of
UK
Use synonyms
 candidates
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
two
Use synonyms
 science-related disciplines. For the remaining
two
Use synonyms
 majors, it's similar between
Use synonyms
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 groups. At
two
Use synonyms
 majors, Art history and sociology, 80% of British
students
Use synonyms
 reaching that degree level was higher than the ratio of overseas candidates, 70% at Art history and approximately 74% at Sociology. The difference was much bigger
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Literature, 74% for domestic
students
Use synonyms
 and 56% for overseas
students
Use synonyms
, and
International
Change preposition
in International
show examples
 law, 70% for
UK
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
, higher 24% than the remaining group.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, 86% of International members obtained
second-class
Correct article usage
a second-class
show examples
 degree or above surpassed vastly
56
Verb problem
surpassing 56
show examples
% of
UK
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 did at Information Technology. It's the same difference
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the discipline, Electrical engineering, 80% of overseas members and 62% British
students
Use synonyms
. With the remaining
two
Use synonyms
 subjects, a similar percentage of
students
Use synonyms
 gained
this
Linking Words
 degree level
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 both groups, at 74% for Nursing and 60% for Accountancy.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, uk, two with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "differences" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
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