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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the population figures of different types of turtles in India between 1980 and 2012.

The graph below shows the population figures of different types of turtles in India between 1980 and 2012.
The given chart illustrates the population index of various turtle
species
Use synonyms
 in India from 1980 to 2012. It is clearly seen that all
species
Use synonyms
 started from the same point in the initial period, but Olive Ridley
Turtles
Use synonyms
 and the rest of
Use synonyms
species
Correct article usage
the species
show examples
 increased,
whereas
Linking Words
 others decreased in the given period of
time
Use synonyms
. The most striking feature was the Olive Ridley
Turtles
Use synonyms
, which had significant changes from 1980 to 2012.The percentage stood at 100 in 1980, and climbed to 130 in 2012
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 was
also
Linking Words
 seen the considerable change for
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
species
Correct article usage
the species
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 of
turtles
Use synonyms
, which started same point as
Olive
Correct article usage
the Olive
show examples
 Ridley
Turtles
Use synonyms
 in the initial
time
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
this
Linking Words
 indicator rose to 110 in the ultimate
time
Use synonyms
. Moving onto other
Use synonyms
species
Punctuation problem
species,
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 it is obvious that, witnessed decline for both Green and Leatherback
Turtles
Use synonyms
.
Rate
Correct article usage
The rate
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of
Change preposition
apply
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for these
species
Use synonyms
 experienced
slight
Correct article usage
a slight
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 fluctuation for the entire period
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 Green
turtles
Use synonyms
 had
gradual
Correct article usage
a gradual
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went down
Verb problem
decline
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at the end
Linking Words
 of the
time
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
. This
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this
Linking Words
 proportion reached 90 in 2012
,
Punctuation problem
. On
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on the other hand
Linking Words
 ratio of Leatherback
Turtles
Use synonyms
 dramatically
felt
Use the right word
fell
show examples
 down in the ultimate
time
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words species, turtles, time with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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